Healing His Wounds
by Cambion
Summary: The final chapter has been posted, by request of the fans! Find out the meaning behind Hiro's strange appearance after his alleged death. It's something you'd never expect.
1. Prologue

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Gravitation, or any of its characters. But I do own the plot of this story, and anyone who attempts to use it without my permission will have their eyes gouged out and fed to rabid giraffes.

**WARNING: **This story contains adult material, including violent sexual acts/rape. If this kind of material offends you, do not read this story.

**Healing his Wounds: Prologue**

The apartment was nothing short of silent; not a single organism stirred...save for a young aspiring author. He was in his room, busily tapping away at a keyboard, in the process of creating yet another novel in hopes of getting yet another best-seller on the market. With cramping hands, he hastily types the final words of the epic tale and hits "Save". Excited, he immediately brings his laptop to his editor, two days before the finished work is due. Within minutes, though, his editor hands him back his computer and tells him that the story is very dry and it needs major revisions. Eiri, apparently hurt, leaves without a word.

****


	2. Chapter 1: Moral Robbery

Healing His Wounds: Chapter 1 - Moral Robbery

Eiri parked his sleek black car haphazardly in the driveway and angrily slammed the door. He stormed up to his apartment and immediately threw his computer against the couch; he was absolutely furious that his editor rejected his story; he was so confident and happy about this one, thinking it would truly be a winner, but it was sadly not to be. As he made his way toward the kitchen, he listened for any sounds...

"Good", he thought, "The brat isn't here."

Reaching into the refrigerator, he pulled an unopened 6 pack of beer and a bottle of cheap wine out and carried it with him to the couch. He steadily emptied the cans one by one, which was plenty to intoxicate even Eiri, but the wine put him far over the edge. He drank the entire bottle, drowning out his sorrows with alcohol. Finishing those remaining drops, he dropped the bottle and sprawled out on the couch, lost in intoxication and unable to see, act, or even think clearly. To be perfectly blunt, he was completely trashed.

At the studio, Shuichi fanned himself after a long rehearsal in sweltering temperatures.

"Don't you people believe in air conditioning?", Shuichi barked in a hoarse tone.

"The air conditioning is broken, remember Shu?", Hiro replied, equally exhausted.

The three kids were obviously too tired to continue rehearsing; it had gotten so warm that they all stripped down to mere boxers, save for young Shuichi, who happened to be wearing a neon orange thong that day to surprise Eiri with later. But he did not remove his jeans, because he was too embarrassed to have his friends and bandmates, manager, and producer all see him in the buff. And as a result, Shuichi perspired more than anyone. Sighing, K pointed at the door, allowing them to leave, because even a tough guy like him was starting to overheat in the hellish studio environment. The group bolted up and ran right out the door in pure excitement...that is when they realized they had forgotten their equipment and hastily returned to retrieve it.

It was cooler outside, and Shuichi threw on his black tanktop on the way home; the shirt was actually Eiri's, but Shuichi really adored it because it seemed to have a powerful sensation of Eiri's own natural aroma on it constantly, and Eiri, tired of constant begging, allowed Shuichi to keep it. It hung off the young boy's shoulders, as it was a size or so too large, but it did not matter to Shuichi - it somehow had a little piece of Eiri in it.

Shuichi sluggishly paced home; though cooler than the studio, outside was rather warm as well. He finally reached the apartment and dragged himself up the stairs, which was practically torture. Opening the door, he dragged his aching, burning feet behind him. With a swipe of his hair, he looked about for Eiri; he immediately spotted the blonde, passed out on the couch. Shuichi noticed the empty cans and bottle laying on the floor and he shook his head in disgust. But one good thing was that Eiri had the air conditioning on all the way, and soon enough, Shuichi became completely energized and was running around like the usual maniac he is.

His shouts of gaiety and loud footsteps roused Eiri from his sleep. He woke up in a very cranky mood, and when he saw Shuichi prancing about the house like a Riverdancer, he screamed in a deep, hoarse tone, "Stop being a fucking retard you brat!"

Shuichi stopped - he had heard Eiri call him a brat many times before, and he had also heard Eiri curse at him, but his voice is what stopped Shuichi cold; never had he heard Eiri sound so angry at him, even when he was drunk. Eiri stared daggers into the pink-haired youth, and Shuichi backed away quietly and timidly, like a puppy that just got kicked. In the process, he bumped into a small table and knocked it over. On top of the table was a tall glass, probably one of Eiri's exotic cocktail glasses. The container shattered loudly, spewing shards all over the floor. Eiri shot up from the couch and stared angrily at Shuichi, who was cowering against the wall. Moments later, Eiri got up shakily from the couch - he was obviously still intoxicated. He approached Shuichi swiftly, yelling at him.

"You stupid brat! Why do you have to ruin everything of mine!"

Shuichi whimpered, "I'm sorry, Yuki! I didn't mean to..."

"That's what you always say, and you always manage to break something else!", Eiri began to advance on Shuichi, eventually backing him up into a wall. In a rage, Eiri grasped Shuichi tightly by his arms and held him still. Shuichi tried to free himself from Eiri's vicegrip, but Eiri only held tighter.

"Yuki, let go! Ouch! Yuki, that hurts!"

Eiri snorted deeply before he looked directly into Shuichi's eyes and growled, "You've ruined my life, you damn brat, and now I'm going to ruin yours..."

With those words, Eiri held Shuichi firmly by one arm and dragged him into his bedroom. He lifted Shuichi clear off the floor by his arm and slammed him down onto the mattress. Within moments, Eiri was on top of Shuichi trying to rip his clothes off. Normally, Shuichi would be savoring every second of this, but Eiri was not trying to pleasure him - he was drunk, and he was angry, and this spelled trouble for Shuichi. Shuichi scrambled, trying to escape, but Eiri grabbed his head and smashed it against the head board of the bed, making Shuichi cry out in pain. Eiri tried to undo Shuichi's jeans, but the boy kept thrashing. Annoyed, Eiri took hold of Shuichi's head again and buried it in the mattress.

"If you want to live to see tomorrow, you'll hold still!"

Shuichi was crying his eyes out, scared to death, "Yuki, stop! You're hurting me!"

"Good", he replied gruffly.

Shuichi was so scared and weak that he had no choice but to hold still. Eiri sighed successfully as he managed to get the tight jeans off. That's when he spotted the bright orange thong. Growling, he violently tore it from Shuichi's hips, making him cry out as he felt the pressure in his groin. Then Shuichi heard Eiri unzipping his own pants and taking a firm hold on his hips. Shuichi desperately began to plead to his lover.

"Yuki, no! Please don't do this! Pl -"

The teenager shrieked in an unearthly tone as Eiri thrust his full length into Shuichi's writhing body. Eiri moaned in total ecstacy as he continued to move. Tears rolled down Shuichi's face; with every plead he made, Eiri pushed harder. He continued to rape Shuichi until a sweet, yet intoxicated orgasm washed over him. When he finally withdrew, blood steadily dripped from Shuichi's aching backside, mixed with Eiri's warm semen. When Eiri left to relax on the couch, Shuichi collapsed to the mattress in a wet mess of blood, semen, and tears, scared to death to even move an inch.

-

Even the beautiful blonde novelist can lose self-control under the influence. I know the story is seeming a bit ambiguous right now, but I assure you, it will hopefully be better in future chapters.

LinZ


	3. Chapter 2: Memories

b>Healing His Wounds: Chapter 2 - Memories b>

br>

The next day, Eiri woke up late. He stretched his arms out and yawned, and slowly got up to take a shower. He stumbled as he rose up from the couch and groaned.

"Wow", he thought, "this is one major hangover..."

He was still in an intoxicated stupor as he made his way to the bathroom. Then he realized something that was never usually there - the silence. It had never been so quiet before. Eiri wondered if Shuichi was home.

"Nah...if he was here I'd definitely hear him".

But just to be certain, he went and checked his own bedroom, to see if the young man had also slept in. But there was no one there; all Eiri noticed was that the covers were wrinkled up. He decided to quickly make his bed before going to get a shower. As he tossed the blankets up, he noticed something strange...dark brown spots on the sheets. He looked closer and realized the spots were blood spots. Eiri was confused.

"I wonder if Shuichi had a bloody nose or something..."

He shrugged his shoulders and made final adjustments to the bed. Satisfied with a cleanly made bed, he grabbed a clean pair of jeans off the floor and headed for the bathroom - he did not intend to go anywhere today, so he figured he would just dress casually. He closed and locked the door behind him as he entered the washroom; this was a habit he picked up soon after Shuichi moved in; before, he would always leave the door ajar as he showered, but when his young lover became part of the household, he had a tendancy of sneaking into the bathroom and peeking behind the curtain while the blonde man stood beneath the jets of searing-hot water. He also had a tendancy of sticking his arm into the shower and poking Eiri in places he would rather not be poked in when he was not in the mood to play. So, Eiri quickly adopted the habit of locking the door behind him, unless he was in the right mood, in which case he left the door open for Shuichi.

As Eiri ran a loofah sponge over his chest, he reminisced about the last time Shuichi invaded his bath time; it was the previous Friday evening, and he Eiri recalled being in the mood, so he left the door open. Shuichi pussyfooted in and swiftly slid his arm behind teh shower curtain and gave Eiri's backside a light squeeze. Eiri turned around, looking evilly at Shuichi, almost scaring the pink-haired boy, but then he playfully splashed water on him, and motioned for Shuichi to join him. Yipping happily, Shuichi stripped down in a heartbeat and stumbled into the shower. Eiri grabbed the detatchable shower head and started to spray Shuichi; Shuichi blocked it as best as he could, but Eiri always surprised him by spraying him in the unprotected areas. Then, Eiri unhooked the hose, so the water would run freely over them. He pulled Shuichi close and looked down at the boy; he always looked so sexy when he was wet. Eiri ran his hands up and down the boy's hips, slick with soap and water. They began to kiss, and Shuichi developed an erection almost immediately.

Eiri smiled, remembering how easily Shuichi got turned on, and then he remembered the love they made that night; it was far from being solely physical pleasuring - both their hearts were working on that warm, starry evening. And the intercourse was followed by even more passionate kissing; shortly after, they fell asleep in each other's arms, and Eiri recalled whispering "...baka..." before totally passing out.

Thinking about this really made Eiri a little on the hormonal side, as he began to feel that 'rush' within his body. He tried to suppress it, but it was too late - looking down he saw he had an erection that was begging for attention. He knew Shuichi was nowhere around, and he really did not want to wait. He really wanted to take care of it himself, but he stopped, thinking that he could overcome his urge. With slow, deep breaths and thoughts of other things, his arousal eventually disappeared and he returned to his normal appearance. br>

p> p>

b>Author's Note: Okay this chapter is kindof stupid. b>


	4. Chapter 3: Eiri's Worries

Healing His Wounds: Chapter 3 - Eiri's Worries 

Outside, it was a day of fair weather - the scorching temperatures of the previous day were not to be found; the sun glowed brilliantly in the sky, but a gentle breeze accompanied it, making a favorable environment for just about every outdoor activity. In the city park, people played games, ate lunch, or maybe just sat out on the soft, dry lawn and admired teh weather. Everyone, that is, save for one individual.

Shuichi sat alone on a bench in a secluded corner of the park; he sat with his knees up to his chin, looking as if he was about to cry. He had been in that same spot for two hours, pondering the same question: "Why?"

He could not understand why Eiri had done what he did; Shuichi knew Eiri was drunk, but never had he lashed out at him Shuichi before, and never in his wildest nightmares did Shuichi ever think Eiri would hurt him like he did. The physical pain would eventually heal, but the emotional scar it had left would be there forever; Shuichi kept remembering what happened; remembering how he felt his heart sink when Eiri yelled at him in that devilish tone; remembering the pain as Eiri ripped his body to shreds; but he remembered most vividly how he felt knowing that it was his lover that was hurting him. As he shifted his legs closer to his chin, he began to weep as his backside ached horribly.

Then Shuichi remembered something else...he had to rehearse that day! But there was no way in heaven or on Earth he would be capable of singing, not for at least one day. After wiping his tears away, he reached into his pocket and jingled some coins around; he had enough to call the studio. He slowly got up, being careful not to make contact with his sore area, and walked out of the park in search of a telephone. Even this was a challenge - because Eiri had been so brutal with him, a simple exercise as walking was torturous to Shuichi; his jeans felt damp, and he figured he had bled again, but he really was not concerned about what people would think of a red blotch on his hindquarters. Shuichi crossed a busy intersection swiftly and spotted a payphone near the local library. He popped the coins into the slot and hastily dialed the studio's number and asked to speak to Hiro - he was in no mood to speak to K.

"Hello?"

"Hiro, it's me."

"Shuichi where are you? We're waiting for you."

"I know, I'm sorry...but I don't think I can rehearse today."

"What!", Hiro shouted, "why not?"

Shuichi cringed when he heard Hiro's annoyed tone, "Because...something happened last night...I'm just not in the mood to sing today."

Hiro could sense the uneasiness in Shuichi's voice and softened up a little, "What happened?"

Shuichi shuddered, "I...I don't want to talk about it."

"Is it something to do with Yuki?"

"No I don't want to talk about it!", Shuichi screamed through tears and slammed the phone down. He took off into the park and never looked back.

Back at the studio, Hiro looked both puzzled and annoyed.

"Was that Shuichi?", Suguru asked.

"Yeah, but he-"

"Why the hell isn't he here yet!", K shouted.

"As I was saying...", Hiro muttered nonchalantly, "...he said he couldn't be here today."

"Why not! He had better have a good reason for skipping practice", K was steaming.

Hiro was slowly getting annoyed by K's interruptions, but he kept it to himself since K was the one with the gun, "He said something happened last night and he didn't want to talk about it."

"Did he sound any different?", Suguru asked.

"At first he just sounded a little shaken up, but when I asked him if it was something Yuki did, he sounded like he was crying."

"Probably a good indication that it was Yuki."

Hiro sighed, "They probably had another one of their petty fights. But, we can't rehearse without Shuichi", he turned to his manager, "I want to go and look for Shuichi and...ummm...bring him here to practice." His voice was uneasy, and he hoped K would believe it.

"You had better", he snarled at Hiro.

Hiro gave K a 'thank-you' nod before darting out the door; he was more than intent on finding the cause of Shuichi's pain.

Eiri was walking around the house in nothing but blue jeans when the telephone rang. He took a long drag on his cigarette before answering.

"Hello?"

"Eiri, good I'm glad you're home."

"What do you want, Tohma?"

"I just wanted to know if Shuichi was there."

"Nope...he wasn't here when I woke up. Why, isn't he at the studio?"

"No - he never showed up for his rehersal."

Eiri was silent for a moment, "That's weird...not that I can complain about the silence."

"Sorry to ask this, but aren't you worried about him, Eiri?"

"Why should I worry about him? He's got his friends for that."

"But you're his-"

"Don't even finish that sentence, Tohma. Good-bye."

Eiri hung the telephone up - despite his attitude toward his brother-in-law, he was indeed very much concerned about the young pink-haired singer. "Where is he?", he wondered, "wherever he may be, I hope he's okay..." br>

p> p>

b>Author's Note: So this chapter was kind of stupid too. I promise that the entire story is not self-loathing. b>


	5. Chapter 4: Hiro Learns The Truth

Healing His Wounds: Chapter 4 - Hiro Learns the Truth

-

Expertly swerving between cars, Hiro began to peruse the city in search of Shuichi. He looked for over an hour fruitlessly for the lost boy. It wasn't until Hiro reached the less frantic part of the city that he spotted something off in the distance...it was a small bright pink spot walking toward the city limits. Hiro immediately shifted into highest gear and sped toward the pink object. As he neared closer and closer, he saw that the pink was hair, belonging to a downcast singer. As he heard the approach of a motorcycle engine, Shuichi slowly turned around.

Hiro made an abrupt stop, nearly flying head first over the handlebars of his bike. He stumbled quickly to Shuichi and looked the boy over - he was not hurt physically; at least, not anywhere Hiro could see.

"Shuichi, I found you, thank God!"

"Hiro...go away..."

Hiro recoiled at his remark...why would he want his best friend to 'go away'? He was determined to discover the cause of Shuichi's mood change, "Tell me what's wrong."

"No, I don't want to."

Shuichi tried to escape, but Hiro held him firmly, yet gently, by his shoulders. "Hiro! Let me go!"

"Not until you tell me what's wrong!"

At this point, Shuichi was shouting as he kept trying to evade Hiro, but the rusty-haired teen had a firm hold on Shuichi - he was not going anywhere. Eventually, Shuichi's swinging fists and violently kicking feet weakened and he simply broke into tears.

"Hiro...please...let..go...", his sobs trailed off.

Shuichi's legs gave out, and Hiro knelt to the sidewalk, hugging Shuichi to his chest as the young boy wept heavily into Hiro's shirt, soaking it right to his skin. When Hiro felt as if Shuichi had calmed down, he looked directly into his eyes.

"Shuichi, please tell me what happened."

Shuichi choked as he tried to stop crying, "Okay...but...but you have to promise me one thing first..."

"What?", Hiro asked meekly.

"You can't tell anyone what I'm going to tell you, no matter what."

"I don't know...Shuichi, if it's something that -"

"If you can't keep your trap shut, then I'm not telling you!"

Hiro quickly responded, "Okay, okay! I swear, on our friendship that I won't tell a soul."

"...okay", Shuichi sniffled.

Hiro offered his friend his shirt sleeve to dry his eyes. After calming down, Shuichi took a deep breath. "Something...happened last night..."

"Okay...what happened?"

Shuichi shuddered at first, but then he whimpered something out, "...Yuki...raped me."

-

Hiro's eyes got wide; he looked like a squid on cocaine. He stared deeply into Shuichi's eyes. "...What?", he coughed, obviously tensed.

Shuichi's face began to wrinkle up, as if he was going to cry again, "I came home after practice yesterday...and...he was wasted", Shuichi cried, "...and then he yelled at me for running around...then I broke a glass...and...he just unloaded on me."

Hiro could not believe his ears, but Shuichi had more. "Then he grabbed me by the wrists, and...and he dragged me into his room and threw me on the bed...I tried to get away, but he slammed me into the mattress...then he got my jeans off...and...and...". Shuichi exploded into a flood of tears and collapsed into Hiro's arms. As Shuichi wept, Hiro began to cry as well, finding the strength only to stroke Shuichi's silky hair as he cried.

"Please don't tell anyone, Hiro! I don't want Yuki to hurt me again! Please promise!", Shuichi pleaded as he looked into Hiro's chocolate-colored eyes.

At that point, Hiro wanted nothing mroe than to dash to Eiri's home and beat him bloody, and then take Shuichi to safety at his own apartment, but he had made a promise to a friend...and he had to try his best to keep that promise, no matter what the circumstances. So, Hiro sighed and forced out, "Okay...I...I promise". He kicked himself a thousand times over for saying that.

Despite the awkward surroundings, Shuichi had cried himself right to sleep; because of his horrifying ordeal, he had not slept a wink the previous night, and it caught up with him. Hiro gently lifted Shuichi onto his bike and positioned his arms around his waist, as if he were to be riding fully awake. After being sure Shuichi was secure, Hiro sped off to his apartment to drop off the slumbering Shuichi, and then to handle other matters...

Hiro picked Shuichi up off the back of the bike; Hiro found it an incredible feat of nature that Shuichi did not fall off the bike while they were in motion. But they managed to reach the apartment safely. Hiro gently lifted Shuichi off the bike and propped him up over his shoulder; unlocking the door, he quietly entered. He started toward the couch, but then he remembered just how uncomfortable it was; Shuichi once told him it felt like 'sleeping on a sidewalk', so Hiro went for his own bedroom and carefully lay Shuichi down on the sheets. Shuichi almost immediately curled up and cuddled his face into the downy pillow; Hiro watched his every movement; Shuichi moved with the juvenile rhythm of a kitten, with the way he lightly flailed his hands and kicked his legs in an attempt to get comfortable. All while watching his best friend and bandmate doze off, Hiro's fists were tightly clenched in anger.

"How could he hurt Shuichi like that? That mother fucker...", Hiro thought of how Eiri had so tremendously hurt poor Shuichi.

Knowing Shuichi would probably be out for some time, Hiro ran out the door, locking it behind him, and practically leapt onto his motorcycle. With a thunderous roar, he started the engine and sped off like a bat out of hell; he had a bone to pick with Eiri.

-

Author's Note: Ooo, Shuichi spills the beans to Hiro...and Hiro is as mad as hell at Eiri, and intends to do something about it; he's not letting Eiri get away with something so heinous.


	6. Chapter 5: Accepting An Ugly Truth

Healing His Wounds: Chapter 5 - Accepting an Ugly Truth

-

By this point, Eiri was actually beginning to get concerned about Shuichi - the brat had gotten upset with him many times before, but he had always come back within about twenty minutes; this extended abcense was very unlike Shuichi, and Eiri began to wonder if maybe the young pop star had been injured. He could not be sure. He took a final drag on his cigarette before smothering it in a nearby ash tray. As he sat and contemplated possible reasons why Shuichi had disappeared, he heard his doorbell sound.

"That can't be Shuichi...he never uses the doorbell - he prefers to slap on the door, calling out my name", Eiri thought to himself.

Eiri hesitated getting up, but soon the doorbell turned to loud knocking.

"I'm coming!", Eiri shouted in a half-annoyed tone. When he reached the door, he came face to face with a familiar brown-haired teenager; the only difference between this meeting and his previous one was that this time, the boy looked terribly upset.

"What the hell do you want?"

"You know damn well what", Hiro snorted.

Eiri cocked an eyebrow, obviously confused. Thinking he was trying to be ignorant, Hiro barged right through the door and punched Eiri as hard as he could in the face. Eiri flew off to one side, still maintaining his balance. He let out a painful grunt, and then turned back to Hiro, clasping his aching jaw.

"What the fuck did you do that for!", Eiri shouted as blood trickled down his chin.

"Don't play stupid with me! How could you hurt Shuichi? What has he done to you to deserve that!", Hiro screamed.

"I would hardly say calling him 'brat' on a regular basis is hurting him", Eiri's voice was cracking; it hurt even to speak.

Hiro proceeded to shove Eiri; he caught his foot under a rug and it sent him crashing to the floor. He stared evilly up at Hiro as he lifted himself off the floor, "Who the hell gave you authority to come here anyway? I can damn well have you arrested!", he threatened.

"Do what you will...but I want to know why you hurt him."

Eiri was getting more agitated, but he tried his best to stay calm and not tear Hiro limb from limb. He straightened his posture before asking Hiro, "Look...I don't know what you mean by 'hurting'...I haven't done anything to Shuichi."

"You're a fuckin' liar!", Hiro screeched as he punched Eiri again, this time in the stomach.

Eiri, now bent over in pain as he clutched his aching abdomen, barked in a hoarse, yet angered tone, "Alright then, you asshole...just what is it that I did to hurt him? Tell me! Tell me right now!"

Hiro was only getting more agitated by Eiri's attitude, "You raped him, that's what!"

Eiri twitched as he gasped for air, "Who the hell told you I raped him?"

"He did...he was crying his eyes out."

"I never raped him."

"Stop lying! I know you did! He told me you did, and Shuichi wouldn't lie about something like that!", Hiro shoved Eiri, nearly making him topple backwards.

Eiri's anger was escalating, and he grabbed Hiro by the shirt, shoved him hard into the wall, making Hirogrunt in pain. Eiri looked Hiro straight in the face with eyes so full of fire that they could have burned a hole through stone, "Look you fuckin' moron...that brat may get on my nerves to the point where I want to kick his ass, but I would never ever hurt him on purpose."

Hiro turned away in disbelief, "I believe Shuichi."

"Well when did this supposedly happen, did he say?", Eiri was clearly fuming.

"Last night. He said you were drunk."

"I had a couple of beers...I'd hardly call that drunk."

Hiro looked around the room; around the couch, he spotted the empty cans and the empty bottle and pointed. "You call all that a 'couple of beers'?"

Eiri stared in disbelief, "Holy hell...I didn't know I had THAT much."

Hiro lost some of the anger in his tone, but did not cease to remain stern, "Yuki, do you remember anything from last night?"

"I remember coming home pissed off and having a drink...I guess...I had more than I thought..."

"This is making sense now...you were probably toosmashed to remember anything."

Eiri grimaced, still unwilling to believe he may have allowed his drinking to get so out of control, "...did he say exactly what happened? What made me hurt him as he told you?"

"He told me that you screamed at him for running around the apartment like a maniac, and then he accidentally broke some kind of a glass, and you dragged him to your room and...well...you get the idea."

"I don't remember doing that!", Eiri shouted; his voice sounded worrisome, "But...there was a pile of broken glass on the floor when i woke up."

Hiro's face stood as still as stone. Eiri continued to ramble, "And...the spots...on the sheets...oh my God...", he cupped his hand over his mouth, and his face lost its color.

"So you did."

Eiri had to support himself on the wall because he was so nervous now, "I swear I don't remember last night! I couldn't have done that...no, I couldn't have been that trashed..."

"Well obviously you were."

Eiri felt both anger and sadness rushing through his mind, and he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs to let all his anguish out, but he held back...and then he bolted up and looked at Hiro, "Where is he now? Is he okay?"

"Of course he's not okay, idiot. He's alive if that's what you mean. But he's staying with me right now."

"I need to talk to him..."

"No, you've done plenty already. He needs time away from you."

"Damn it, I told you I didn't hurt him on purpose!", Eiri lashed out, but then bent over again in pain as his stomach began to ache once more.

"Nonetheless, you still hurt him."

Eiri was shaking at this point, because his anger was boiling so intensely inside. He had the expression of a snarling tiger as he stared down at the floor and clenched his fists hard enough to dig his fingernails into his palms and draw blood. Hiro, disgusted and still extremely angry at Eiri, turns and walks out, slamming the door hard as he exits. As he boards his motorcycle, he hears a loud thumping sound, followed by a loud cry...

Eiri had beaten his fists into the floor, leaving cracked perforations in the boards, and cried out a painful "NO!" that carried on like the howl of a lonely wolf at twilight; Hiro's hate of Eiri only deepened as he heard the young writer cry out in remorse. His only regret being that he did not tear Eiri's head from his body, Hiro sped off on his motorbike back to his apartment.

-

Author's Note: Ooo, Hiro gave Eiri a piece of his mind. The fun has only just begun...


	7. Chapter 6: Hiro Plays The Bodyguard

Healing His Wounds: Chapter 6 - Hiro Plays the Bodyguard

-

"How could I do that to him? How...how could I have hurt him like that? Dear God, WHY!", Eiri beat his fists into the floor, cracking his knuckles painfully. He glanced to the side, seeing those empty cans. He shakily rose to his feet and picked them all up. With a tear in his eye, he hatefully threw them out his open window onto the lawn below. He took the bottle next, and threw it as hard as he could, sending it flying clear across the street; it crashed to the sidewalk, making a loud shattering noise when it hit the ground. Never in his wildest dreams did Eiri think he would ever do something so heinous, and all because of alcohol. It was because of his insatiable thirst for the drink that he had hurt someone...not just anyone, and not just a teenage boy, but a boy that he cared so much for, despite his harsh words and insults. In some twisted manner, offensiveness was Eiri's way of showing his feelings, and that is why he is always so mean to Shuichi; he cannot help this habit of his. But, at that point, he wondered if ever again he would see the beautiful pink-haired singer.

-

Hiro quietly tiptoed into his apartment, being careful not to make more noise than he had to; but his efforts were wasted, as Shuichi was awake. Hiro peeked in at him; he was sitting on the edge of the bed, with his head bowed to the floor. With the assistance of the setting sun gleaming through the windows, Hiro saw the tears rolling down Shuichi's face. He listened intently to his friend as he tearfully talked to himself.

"Oh Yuki...I wish I knew why you hurt me. I haven't done anything but love you, and you still manage to hurt me. If I annoyed you so badly, you should have thrown me out...but...maybe I deserved it...for all those times I bothered you..."

Shuichi sniffled and wiped his face with Hiro's blanket; Hiro ran to the bathroom and cried into a towel; he could not stand to see Shuichi in so much pain; it was more than he could handle, and it tore him to pieces seeing his friend in such pain. Once he calmed down, he walked to the door and intentionally slammed it, so Shuichi would hear him. He made the best cheery voice he could and called out, "Shuichi, are you awake?"

He went into his room to see Shuichi, who was still on the edge of the bed. "Did I wake you up?"

"No...I already knew you were here before you slammed the door", Shuichi muttered without turning around.

Hiro stammered something indecipherable, and Shuichi sighed, sounding as if he were going to cry again. Hiro quietly walked to the bed and sat down beside Shuichi; he rested a gentle hand on the boy's shoulder, and Shuichi recoiled sharply, as if Hiro's hand was a red-hot iron. He turned and looked at Hiro quickly, "I'm...sorry...just a little edgy I guess."

"It's alright...look, um...I'm gonna make some food. Do you want anything special?"

"No thanks...I'm not hungry."

Hiro wrapped his arm gently around Shuichi's shoulders; much to his surprise, Shuichi did not flinch. "Well, anything you need, Shuichi, just tell me. I'll be here for you."

Shuichi nodded, as Hiro got up to make his own dinner, Shuichi muttered, "I need...help..."

Hiro did an full one hundred eighty degree spin and looked right at Shuichi; he was holding back his tears as best he could; his teeth were gritted tightly, and his fists were clenched so tight that his fingernails dug into his sensitive palms and broke the skin. Hiro rushed back to the bed and settled down once more beside his friend. Shuichi took one glance at Hiro and almost immediately collapsed into the boy's arms, sobbing loudly and choking on his own tears.

"Oh Shuichi...", Hiro was fighting back tears at this point as well.

Shuichi painfully cried, "Oh God, Hiro...he's hurt me so bad...but...I...I still love him! I don't know what to do!"

Hiro held his friend close and gently stroked his head, in an attempt to soothe his nerves. Without even paying attention, Hiro planted a soft kiss on Shichi's forehead and then proceeded to hug him again, "Listen to your heart Shuichi...that's the only way you'll really know."

Hiro finally disembraced Shuichi and waited for him to catch his breath. With a gentle grip, Hiro slowly lifted Shuichi's chin so he could look into his eyes.

"Shuichi, listen to me...I went to talk to Yuki earlier."

Shuichi jumped back, "You did!"

Hiro nodded solemnly. Shuichi continued, "Well, what'd he say?"

"Did you know he was drunk last night?"

"Yes."

"Well he was pretty wasted..."

"Yes I know that."

"He told me that he didn't remember what he had done."

"WHAT!", Shuichi screeched.

"He swore it."

"How could he not remember it? I know I sure as hell do! He's lying!"

"I don't know Shuichi...when I told him about it, he turned as white as a sheet; and then when I left, he cried."

Shuichi's eyes got wide, "Yuki...cried?"

Hiro nodded; Shuichi never imagined that a cold-hearted person like Eiri was even capable of crying. Shuichi remained stunned as Hiro cradled him in his arms.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah...I'll be fine. And Hiro?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you...for your help...", Shuichi half-smiled and then, with one quick glance, planted a soft kiss on Hiro's lips. Hiro felt his heart race, wondering why Shuichi had just kissed him. But he understood the gesture as a friendly kiss and smiled.

"You're welcome."

For the very longest time, the two young men stared into each other's eyes; Shuichi's eyes were so full of happiness. Hiro had never really taken the opportunity to truly notice the sparkling eyes of his friend and bandmate that shined so beautifully like two pieces of amethyst. Shuichi gazed into Hiro's glistening brown eyes, seeing them brimming with compassion. He had never seen such a gaze in Eiri's eyes before; though they had made love a handful of times in the past, Eiri never had such a look on his face. At times, it seemed as if Eiri put absolutely no emotion into his lovemaking, as if he were only using Shuichi's body as a sex toy. Shuichi did not think of Hiro in that way at all, but knowing that Hiro cared so much for him just made him feel that much better.

Hiro finally turned away, blushing slightly, to prepare the food. He left Shuichi in the darkness of the solitary bedroom without so much as a word. Once outside, Hiro choked, wondering why he had stared for so long...

"I wonder why he was looking at me like that..."

-

Author's Note: Oooo, Shuichi kissed Hiro. The yumminess of it all! Sappy, yet intriguing, aye?


	8. Chapter 7: Will You Stay Here?

Healing His Wounds: Chapter 7 - "Will You Stay Here?"

The evening drifted by slowly, and Hiro prepared enough food for both himself and Shuichi, in the event that Shuichi changed his mind and got hungry. When everything was done, Hiro took his food into his bedroom and sat beside Shuichi to continue comforting him. Soon after, Shuichi began picking at the food and eating it off Hiro's dish with his fingers. Hiro laughed as Shuichi finished eating a rice ball and had the tiny white grains stuck all over his face. Smiling, Shuichi cupped his mouth with his hand, gathering all the rice grains, and proceeding to give his hand a gigantic slurp, licking away the rice. Despite the torture he had been through, Shuichi still had those playful antics within him, and nothing or no one would suppress them. Between the two of them, they nearly licked all of the dishes clean from dinner. Shuichi, feeling a bit happier, agreed to wash the dishes, although there was hardly anything to wash. When he finished, he lathered up his hands with the remnants of the soap suds and crept up on Hiro, who was reading a book. Upon placing his cold, soapy hands on Hiro's neck, Hiro screeched and jumped clear off his bed. He turned around and narrowed his eyes at Shuichi. Shuichi caught the look and immediately began to recoil, thinking Hiro was angry. Hiro approached him, as if in a rage, and Shuichi backed up. But Hiro broke a huge smile and tackled Shuichi to the floor, tickling him. It was not long before tears rolled down Shuichi's face from laughing so hard.

The two decided to further kill time and watch a movie. Shuichi was already exhausted, but he still agreed. Ten minutes into the movie, Shuichi fell asleep. Hiro turned the movie off, knowing he would soon pass out as well. Hiro was about to lift Shuichi from the bed and lay him down beneath the blankets, but Shuichi looked so peaceful curled up in a ball; Hiro knew he was sound asleep, judging by the loud snoring. Reaching to the floor, Hiro picked up a blanket he had thrown down quite a while back and gently covered Shuichi's body, so he would have some sort of heat while he slept. Shuichi made a sort of purring sound as he felt the warmth of the blankets and pulled them to his neck, still sleeping, and muttered "...Hiro..." in a drowsy tone. Hiro wondered if Shuichi was truly asleep or not. As the youth rolled onto his back, his mouth closed and the snoring ceased. Hiro swept the hair from the boy's eyes and studied his face; Shuichi looked so angelic under the moonlight, and so perfect, like a porcelain doll. With a smile, Hiro bent down over the slumbering teenager, taking one last glimpse of him, and then closing the distance between their faces. His lips became one with Shuichi's as he delivered a gentle kiss, sort of returning the one Shuichi had given to him earlier that evening. Hiro quietly tiptoed out of the room and closed the door. He headed for the couch and threw off his shirt and his jeans as he prepared to go to sleep. Clad only in his boxers, he crawled beneath his blankets and pressed his face into his pillow, and although he was tired, he could not sleep...too many things were racing through his mind: Eiri raping Shuichi, Shuichi being depressed, Shuichi kissing him. The only time Hiro had ever been kissed was by his mother, but never had he received a kiss on the mouth, especially not from a guy. But he understood Shuichi's gesture as one of thanks and friendship; people can share friendly kisses, right?

"He was probably just so happy to get away from Eiri that he didn't think who he was kissing...oh damn I really should not have kissed him...

...but...

...I...actually...kind of liked it when he kissed me. It felt kind of weird, but it was a good weird. I...hope he does it again...what the hell am I saying! Shuichi's my best friend! And we're guys! Why are we kissing!"

Hiro's eyes bolted open as he panted, "No, it was just friendly kissing, that's all. No emotion...nothing...Hiro, you need to pull yourself together and find a girlfriend!"

Taking a deep breath, Hiro closed his eyes again and drifted off to sleep.

In the other bedroom, Shuichi was tossing and turning in his bed violently; his head was filled with visions of Eiri hurting him. He remembered Eiri dragging him into the bedroom, slamming him into the mattress, ripping his clothes off, brutally raping him. Tears rolled down the teenager's soft face as he gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. He made soft sobbing noises as his nightmare felt more and more like reality. Finally, at the peak of his fright, he bolted upright with his head back and his spine arched and screeched "Yuki, stop!" in a voice so full of pain and fear that it would have made even the most heartless person water at the eyes. Hiro awoke to the sound of the scream and immediately ran to Shuichi. He barged through the door and turned on the light; inside, he saw Shuichi with his knees curled up to his chin, sobbing his eyes out. Hiro ran to Shuichi and sat beside him.

"Are you okay? What happened?"

"I had a nightmare...about...about Yuki...", Shuichi whimpered, his voice broken.

Hiro took the corner of the bed sheet and brushed Shuichi's tears away. Shuichi took one glance at Hiro and collapsed into the young man's arms, crying. Hiro felt Shuichi's tears drop onto his bare chest and gently run down his abdomen, and he could only hold Shuichi closer as a result. Shuichi eventually calmed down as he snuggled deeper into Hiro's chest; he had never known what Hiro's body felt like. His skin was warm and soft to the touch, and Shuichi simply could not get enough of that warmth that radiated out of Hiro's body and flowed so elegantly into his own. Shuichi rubbed his face against Hiro's chest, absorbing his heat and his scent. Shuichi noticed just how distinct of a scent his friend had; it was not any kind of cologne or fragrance or shampoo - just Hiro's natural scent, and it was enticing to Shuichi. Very enticing.

On the other end, Hiro had rested his chin atop Shuichi's fluffy head; his nose filled with the aroma of Shuichi's strawberry-scented shampoo. He noticed just how silky the boy's hair was; it was so smooth and beautiful, even if the color was so unnatural. He felt Shuichi nuzzle his face into his chest, and he flinched, Shuichi's hair lightly tickling him. But he withheld a laugh; it was not the time to be laughing. As he focused more on Shuichi, he forgot the tickling feeling and only held Shuichi closer. Hiro held his friend for a very long time, gently rubbing the boy's back with one hand and ever so carefully stroking his soft head with the other hand.

"Mm...Hiro...", Shuichi muttered before losing consciousness.

Hiro heard Shuichi's voice trail off, and when he peeked down at the boy's face, he saw Shuichi had fallen asleep in his arms. Hiro smiled and continued to cradle Shuichi in his arms for a few extra minutes. But soon, his own exhaustion began to take a toll on him, and he decided to head back to the couch. Slowly and gently, he lay Shuichi down on the blankets and covered him up as best he could without waking him. As Hiro quietly walked out the door, he heard a tired, weak voice.

"...Hiro..."

Turning, he saw Shuichi looking at him, with his shimmering eyes half open. They were still dampened from his crying. Hiro stood and peered at Shuichi, wondering what he wanted. Shuichi, obviously tired, mumbled.

"...please...don't leave..."

Cocking his eyebrows, Hiro walked back to Shuichi. He sat down beside the pink-haired youth and stroked his head. Shuichi propped himself up on his knees and looked Hiro in the eyes.

"...will you stay here?"

Shuichi's voice was so soft, like a child. Hiro lightly swiped the pink locks from Shuichi's face.

"If you want me to, then I will."

Hiro smiled at Shuichi and left the room briefly to turn the light off in the living room as well as the hallway. Shortly after, he returned, where Shuichi sat on his knees intently waiting.

"Make yourself comfy, and I'll get the lights."

Shuichi nodded weakly and slithered his scrawny body under the blankets. Hiro groped his way around the room to find the bed; when his hands graced the blankets, he pulled them up and slipped under. It was only a one-person bed, but Hiro was willing to deal with the inconvenience if it meant Shuichi would feel better. Shuichi turned to face Hiro, who seemed a little bit restless. Shuichi noticed this almost immediately.

"Are you okay, Hiro?"

"Yeah."

Shuichi was silent for a while before responding, "Hiro if you don't want to stay in here with me then you don't have to. I'm not making you."

Hiro sighed and turned to his friend, "It's not that...it's just...well...this bed is really small. I don't want to push you off in my sleep."

"It's okay..."

Shuichi moved himself over, so he was on the very edge of the bed, as well as the very verge of falling off. At one point, he did indeed slip and tumble, but Hiro caught him in time and pulled him back up. They laughed together and Hiro sighed and smiled.

"I'll stay beside you, Shuichi."

Shuichi smiled and gave his friend a hug...or at least tried to as the pillows and blankets got in his way. As Shuichi curled up into a tight ball, as he usually does, and snuggled close to Hiro, Hiro remained awake with his eyes open. After about a half an hour, Hiro had to ask...

"Shuichi, you still awake?"

"Mm...yeah..."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, go for it."

Hiro swallowed hard and asked hesitantly, "Earlier today...why did you kiss me?"

Shuichi said nothing, but Hiro heard him fidget under the blankets and clear his throat.

"...Shuichi?"

Shuichi's voice became a bit uneasy, "I...I don't know. I was just so happy, I guess."

"Oh okay...just wondering is all."

There was a brief silence before Shuichi half-whispered, "...did you like it?"

"What? No!", Hiro raised his voice.

Shuichi was quiet, and then Hiro corrected his tone, "Err...I'm sorry. It's not that I hated it, but I didn't love it either. You just surprised me."

"Oh, okay. Say, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why did you kiss me before going to sleep?"

Hiro felt his heart leap into his throat...Shuichi had been awake? Holding back a gasp, Hiro countered, "I...I never kissed you..."

Shuichi propped himself up onto his elbow, "Yeah you did. I felt you. When you left after I dozed off, and I had rolled over. You kissed me. Why?"

Hiro knew he wasn't going to get out of this situation, so he made something up at the spur of the moment, "I was...simply returning that kiss you gave me."

"Aw, you didn't have to."

Hiro rested easily, knowing Shuichi believed him, "I know, but I did anyway. Now go to sleep, kiddo. You're exhausted."

Shuichi finally settled into bed for a night's rest. With Hiro by his side, Shuichi felt like nothing in the world could harm him...not even Eiri.

Author's Note: OOC? Yes. Irrelevant? Yes. I know this chapter wasn't too eventful and was just a lot of unnecessary fluffiness. 


	9. Chapter 8: Interferences

Healing His Wounds: Chapter 8 - Interferences

On the other side of town, a young blonde man sits in his spacious living room, smoking a cigarette and staring blankly at the wall. Beside him were empty alcohol cans that he had not cleaned up from two days ago. On the small table beside him lay two empty cigarette boxes, both of which he had emptied that day. It was very late at night, but the young man could not sleep. He had not slept in two days; despite the fact that he could not stand his young pink-haired lover, he knew deep down he was going insane without him.

Those past two days, Eiri had slept on the couch; he could not bear to go into his bedroom and see the sheets that were stained with Shuichi's blood. When he saw those stains, his mind filled with visions of alleged memories of Shuichi being torn into by him. Vague visions invaded his mind; he remembers Shuichi being forced down, having his clothes ripped off. And he remembers his screams...those painful, tearful screams Shuichi emitted as Eiri thrust into his delicate teenage body. He envisions the blood running in thick rivulets down Shuichi's pasty-white thighs and dripping off onto the sheets that had previously only been touched by their natural fluids that so easily blended into the fabric. These visions raged in Eiri's head so greatly that he stood up and slammed his fist hard into the wall and screaming out, "NO!"

His fist left a deep mark in the wall. Eiri panted, thinking of how the young boy must have felt as he was abused; Eiri knew first hand what this kind of abuse felt like. He was remorseful for what he had done, but he did not want Shuichi to be forever scarred; Eiri did not want Shuichi to become what he had after his terrible experience with Kitazawa. Whether or not he was aware of it, Eiri was thoroughly exhausted from a lack of sleep, and he eventually collapsed face down on the floor and plummeted into deep slumber with the lights on.

The next morning, he was awakened by the shaking of his shoulders and the sound of a familiar voice, though a familiar voice he would rather not have encountered at such a stressful time in his life.

"Eiri, thank God you're okay."

Eiri looked scornfully at his sister, "What the hell do you want?"

"I tried to call you last night and you never answered."

"Did you ever think that maybe I wasn't home?"

"I called up until one in the morning. I was worried that something happened...and then I get here this morning and I find you passed out on the floor! What happened?"

Eiri got up, "None of your business, Mika. Now get out of here. I need to be alone."

"No, Eiri. Not until you tell me what's wrong."

"It's nothing you need to be concerned about, nor is it anything you could possibly help me with. Now leave."

Mika pointed her finger at her brother's face, "If you don't tell me what's wrong, I "

She was cut off as Eiri grasped her wrist tightly. She tried to pull away, but failed. Eiri stood up and looked her in the face, "Let me say it again...I need to be alone. Get the hell out or you will regret it."

He released her wrist and turned away. Flustered, Mika yelled back at him, "Forgive me for caring, Eiri." And with that, she walked out hastily.

Eiri sighed; he did not necessarily intend to threaten his older sister, but he usually has a very short fuse with her, especially when she breaks into his home and begins questioning him about his whereabouts. He picked up a cigarette box and rattled it, to discover one last stick within. He slipped the paper rod into his mouth and tossed the empty box aside. He rummaged about the floor for his lighter, but came up empty. Dissatisfied, he merely sucked on the cigarette, wrinkling his nose at the bitter taste that was dissolving into his mouth. His home grew eerily quiet, and it was the silence that once again brought thoughts of Shuichi upon his mind. Although it had been less than two days without the boy's presence, Eiri found himself already missing his young lover. He missed being able to call him names, to scold him, but most of all, he missed the company. Even if they were almost complete opposites, Eiri wished he had Shuichi back with him. Even if it was only for a few minutes, Eiri would take that time to do just one thing: apologize.

Author's Note: Okay it was very short. Next one will be better Scout's honor 


	10. Chapter 9: Fantasy

Chapter 9 - Fantasy

Elsewhere in a small apartment, the Saturday morning sunlight glinted through the window. All was quiet, with the exception of slow, deep breathing. Two young men were tightly snuggled close to one another, their slumber approaching its completion. Hiro lay on his back with an arm dangling off teh side of the bed; the other arm was resting gently upon the shoulder blades of a young strawberry-haired pop star. Shuichi, clad in the previous day's clothes, was curled up against Hiro with his scrawny legs intertwined with Hiro's legs. Shuichi's fluffy head was pressed into Hiro's lightly rising and falling chest, and Shuichi's arm was stretched across Hiro's abdomen, with a lithe hand softly grasping his side. Shuichi had had another nightmare, but reached to Hiro for protection, and immediately felt safe, and ended up falling asleep partially atop his chest.

The sun shone into Hiro's face, making him squeeze his eyelids together, and eventually rousing him awake. Stretching his arms out, he took notice of a pressure in his chest. Looking, he spotted Shuichi curled up on him like a forlorn kitten. He could only smile and decided to wait just a while longer to see if Shuichi would awaken on his own. While waiting, Hiro began to gently pet Shuichi's head; Shuichi emmited a low sound that Hiro could have sworn was purring. Hiro accidentally caught his finger in a small knot in Shuichi's unstyled hair, and the pull stirred Shuichi and made him awaken.

"Morning.", Hiro muttered, still half asleep.

Shuichi yawned and sat up, "Morning, Hiro."

"Did you sleep okay last night?"

"I remember having another bad dream, but...I felt better with you next to me."

"I'm glad."

"Were you uncomfortable sleeping?"

"No, after I readjusted myself, I was fine. But I could tell you were comfortable."

"Why's that?"

"You were practically on top of me when I woke up", Hiro laughed.

Shuichi blushed, "Haha, sorry about that. Must be from my dream."

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm getting up. Want any breakfast?"

"Sure. I am kinda hungry."

"After eating all that last night you're hungry?", Hiro asked jokingly.

"You know my hunger can never be sufficed!"

Hiro smiled; it was good to hear Shuichi laughing and joking again. As he left, Shuichi stopped him.

"Let me make breakfast, Hiro!", Shuichi chirped.

"Wha...but you don't know how to cook."

"Yeah I do...I can make one thing really good..."

"...okay, and what might that be?", Hiro asked curiosly.

Shuichi answered with a single question, "...got any chocolate chips?"

"Yeah a whole bag...why?", Hiro asked.

"You'll see...now go take your shower; it'll be ready when you're done."

Hiro grabbed some clothes off the floor and headed for the bathroom. As he and Shuichi parted ways, Shuichi found himself looking back and watching Hiro disappear into the bathroom. The first thought that entered Shuichi's mind was, "Wow, Hiro has a really nice ass."

Then he choked..."What the hell! Why did I just look at Hiro's ass? ..."

Shuichi shook it off and headed for the kitchen t prepare breakfast. He quickly picked out some measuring cups, a large bowl, a frying pan, and a whisk from various drawers and cupboards. He set the frying pan onto the stove and turned the burner on, and followed up by adding a slice of butter to the pan. . Mentally reciting the recipe, a recipe he had picked up from a cooking magazine, he began to add the necessary ingredients...flour, eggs, milk...then he mixed them into a creamy syrup with the whisk before adding the last ingredient. Grabbing an industrial-sized bag of chocolate chips, he poured nearly half of the chips into the bowl and mixed them again. By the time he was finished, the frying pan was hot. Using the one-fourth measuring cup, he scooped the mixture out of the bowl by cupfuls and poured it into the pan. Tiny bubbles formed on the surface of the circles, and Shuichi immediately flipped them over when those bubbles began to burst. It was mere minutes later that the pancakes were done. Shuichi put them onto a plate and began to hastily make a new batch. To increase his output, he used two frying pans; in the end, both he and Hiro had a stack of eight pancakes on their plates. As garnish, Shuichi sprinkled confectionary sugar on top of them; he added much extra to his own stack because he particularly enjoyed the taste of the white powder. Just as he finished pouring his drink, Hiro entered the kitchen wearing an aged t-shirt and torn jeans. His hair was still wet. When he saw the table already set, his eyes grew wide with astonishment.

"Wow, Shuichi...I didn't know you could make pancakes."

Shuichi nodded happily. They sat down and Hiro began to eat; Shuichi waited for a response. Hiro was amazed with the singer's cooking, "These are great Shuichi...I've never had chocolate chip pancakes before, but these are awesome."

Shuichi's face turned pink with happiness; he could only manage to squeak a weak 'thank you' because he was so overcome with joy. Hiro was only the second person to eat this dish of Shuichi's; the first was, of course, Eiri. And Eiri is not much for chocolate, but tried to be grateful for Shuichi's efforts when he made them for the first time. But Shuichi knew better; he felt a bit dejected when Eiri had walked away from his meal. But in an attempt to make Shuichi feel better, Eiri ate the remaining pancakes later on. Shuichi was very happy, but he knew Eiri was only being nice. Oh well...he was being nice, and that's what mattered.

Before they knew it, they were done. The batter had vanished. Hiro rubbed his stomach, trying to relieve the bloated feeling. He had overstuffed himself, but felt it was worth it; Shuichi's meal was very good to him and he was prepared to go and vomit just to eat more of them. Hiro, unlike a lot of males, has a fetish for chocolate. Shuichi knew this, but was oblivious to it when he asked to make breakfast; he truly just wanted to let Hiro know he was grateful for Hiro's kindness.

"Well, the shower is yours if you want to use it now", Hiro groaned as he felt his stomach twitch.

"Okay...oh, wait...no I can't yet."

"Why not?"

"Because", Shuichi said, "I need to wash teh dishes."

Hiro smiled, "I'll get those, Shuichi. You outdid yourself with breakfast, so the least I can do is clean up. You go and shower."

Shuichi nodded happily; he was feeling rather grimy and direly wanted to shower. Before going, he turned back to Hiro, "Umm, can I wear some of your clothes?"

"Yeah, help yourself to anything."

Shuichi skipped to Hiro's room; moving things around on the floor, Shuichi found a white tanktop and some mesh shorts. Shrugging and figuring they would serve well, Shuichi headed to the bathroom. He got in there and closed the door, only to have it creak open again.

"Crap", he thought, "I forgot that the door doesn't latch..."

Shuichi began to slowly peel his clothes off, and when he just stepped into the bathtub, Hiro called to him from the kitchen.

"Shuichi, I'm gonna go and grab some laundry detergent from the store; I'll be back soon. What say we go rent a movie when you're done?"

"Sounds good to me", Shuichi called out from behind the bathroom door.

Hiro bid farewell and left. Shuichi showered quickly, but took the most time washing his hair; Hiro knew what type of shampoo he liked and bought a bottle of it especially for him for when he came to stay. Within ten minutes, Shuichi was done and was drying off. He slid into his underwear and Hiro's clothes. As he picked up the tanktop, he stared at it for the longest time, as if he were searching for something. Holding the shirt to his nose, he could smell Hiro...his natural scent that Shuichi loved. Shuichi kept inhaling the scent, and imagining Hiro was there. That's when he felt something that was not there before. Looking down, Shuichi saw a bulge emerging from within the shorts.

"Good God", he muttered to himself, "I got a boner just from thinking?

...but, I got it from thinking about Hiro. Hiro's scent on this shirt was so strong, and it felt as if he was right here with me, and those visions...of him...uh-oh."

Shuichi felt his erection throb, and his arousal grew. He knew Hiro was not home just yet, because the store was on the other side of town. He got up and peeked out the door, and even called out Hiro's name...nothing. He had the house to himself. Emitting a shallow breath, Shuichi swiftly removed his shorts and underwear, leaving them in a heap on the floor. Lifting the toilet seat up, Shuichi sat on the toilet, his legs somewhat parted. Taking his member into his hand, he began to stroke it softly. He managed a low hum, but as the strokes got harder and faster, his moans got louder and longer. He masturbated rather violently, going faster than he ever had before; he was moaning very loud, out loud. Little did he know that, as soon as his sounds got more audible, his bandmate had arrived back home.

After unlocking the door, Hiro was about to call out for Shuichi to go and rent a movie, but he was immediately halted by the sound of loud cries. Hiro's first thought was that Eiri had broken in and was raping Shuichi again, but he followed the source of the noise to the bathroom. Being ever so quiet, he peered through the slightly ajar door and saw something that made his heart pound: Shuichi masturbating. Hiro felt his heart race as he watched his young friend arch his back and throw his head all the way back as ecstatic moans escaped his lips. Judging by the changes in the noises, Hiro could tell that Shuichi was very close to climax. As his moans quickened, Shuichi cried out Hiro's name and stroked himself as fast as he could. Seconds later, an orgasm washed over him. The sound of Shuichi's semen dripping into the toilet was very audible. As Shuichi sat on the toilet panting and wiping the semen away from his member, Hiro had run outside.

Heart pounding madly, Hiro could not believe what he had just seen. He was not embarrassed to say he saw his friend masturbating, but rather he was a bit surprised, and even more surprised that Shuichi had called out his name.

"Was Shuichi fantasizing about me?", Hiro wondered.

All Hiro knew was that Shuichi's cries had done something to him that he would have rather not had happen - he had a partially developed erection. He knew very well he could not go back inside with a hardon, because Shuichi might realize Hiro had been watching him. But before Hiro could calm down, Shuichi barged outside and ran into him.

"Oh you're home already?", Shuichi yipped.

"...yeah", Hiro said, trying to hide his erection.

"I just came out here to let my hair dry."

Hiro nodded as he kept trying to turn away. Shuichi noticed this behavior and inquired, "What's wrong, Hiro?"

Hiro pretended not to know, "Nothing's wrong. What do you mean?"

"You keep turning away from me? Did I make you mad?"

"No, not at all."

"You can tell me if something's wrong, Hiro."

Hiro sighed, apparently easy to surrender, "You really want to know?"

Shuichi nodded.

"It's embarrassing but I'll tell you...or rather I'll show you."

He turned to show Shuichi what was wrong. Shuichi gaped at Hiro's erection, now tearing through his jeans worse than it was before. Shuichi looked up at him, surprised.

"I...uh...hit a lot of rocks on the way home. Guess it jarred me a little."

Shuichi nodded; just as his member was recovering from a rather powerful orgasm, Shuichi felt an erection approaching yet again simply from seeing Hiro's. Shuichi immediately felt as if his hair was dry and darted back inside; Hiro was restless. He felt his groin aching with desire, but knew he could do nothing about it. He prayed that the erection would disappear, because he was in no way going to rent a movie with a bulge in his pants.

"If I don't lose this boner, then it's gonna be one very painful ride to the video store...", he thought of the unpleasant ride on his motorcycle.

Author's Note: Shuichi was jerking of while fantasizing about Hiro...aah! bad Shuichi! And hiro heard him too. I am soooo bad. This chapter is half useless silliness and half fluffiness, so forgive me. I will try to post another chapter very soon to make up for this crap. . 


	11. Chapter 10: Revelation of a Deep Secret

Chapter 10 - Revelation of a Deep Secret

It was early afternoon, and Eiri was moping about his apartment; he no longer felt like himself. He felt as if part of him was missing, or had been damaged. He had not eaten since that terrible night, nor has he slept, with the exception of passing out the previous night; he could not sleep with the thought of such a nightmare lingering in his mind. As he lay sprawled over the couch, he began to see flashbacks of his childhood...when Kitazawa had hurt him. Eiri remembered that pain he felt, and how he hated it so badly. The hate is what drove him to kill Yuki. The murder, Eiri figured, would put an end to abuse in Eiri's life. Sadly, it is not he who was abused, but it was a teenage boy that was about the same age as Eiri was when he himself had been assaulted. Eiri was the one who had abused Shuichi.

"I...I've become him. I've become Yuki."

Eiri felt a ball rise into his throat...he had become the man whom he hated. As if taking the man's name was not enough, but mimicking his personality as well? Eiri sighed and buried his head in his hands, trying to think of what he could do. He wanted to go back in the past, and tell himself not to get drunk on that evening. Or at least spend more time on that novel he was so confident about. Any little thing could have changed the outcome of that night. And if the past did not happen, Shuichi may still have been running about in the apartment, screaming, being silly, or cuddling. For all Eiri knew, they could have been making love. But Eiri was without a companion because of his love of the drink. He was getting more upset, but that is when he realized that he had another six-pack of beer in the refrigerator. Figuring he had nothing more to lose, he gathered the box up in his arms and took it to the couch with him. He proceeded to empty all the cans, but he wanted more. He was rather fond of the habit of drinking to forget, and at that moment he direly wanted to forget. Stumbling slightly, he grabbed his keys from a nearby table and headed out the door; he would drive to the local supermarket for more beer and cigarettes.

Somehow, Hiro made it to the video store and back painlessly. He and Shuichi picked out a couple of action films and immediately ran to the living room to watch them. The first movie, they both deemed as a waste of production; the blood and special effects were poorly composed. But the second film, only an hour into the action, they both agreed was an incredible movie and were on the edges of their seats, wondering what would happen next. The anticipation lasted for quite a while, and neither of them spoke or stirred for another hour and a half. The ending of the movie was a typical love scene, where the hero comes home a bit beat up, and gives his lady a passionate kiss.

Shuichi thought to himself, "I wish I could do that with Hiro someday..."

Hiro thought, "I wonder if Shuichi and Eiri are like that..."

The ending theme song brought them back to reality.

"That was awesome. Can we watch it again later?", Shuichi asked in a childish voice.

"Sure if you want to", Hiro responded.

They shot glances at one another, but they did not make direct eye contact at first. Hiro found himself staring at Shuichi at one point, admiring every detail in the boy's face. But when Shuichi flinched even a little bit, Hiro's face jerked back to its original position, hoping Shuichi did not spot him. At one point, Shuichi did look at Hiro, but Hiro's stare never wavered; Shuichi wondered what Hiro was looking at.

"Do I have something on my face?", Shuichi asked.

Hiro laughed and shook his head, "No, I'm just...observing."

"Oh? Observing what?"

Hiro paused for a moment, "Just...I'm glad to see that you're happy again."

Shuichi smiled and mewed in a low tone, "I wouldn't be happy if it wasn't for you."

Shuichi kept his smile and inched closer to Hiro. Like a cat looking for its owner's attention, Shuichi nuzzled his head under Hiro's arm and pressed into Hiro's ribs. As the probing pink head came to a stop, Hiro lightly hugged Shuichi.

"Thank you, Hiro."

"For what?"

"For being here for me, and for helping me...thank you..."

With those words, Shuichi escaped Hiro's arm and sat up straight. He looked Hiro right in the eyes and gave the rusty-haired boy a soft kiss on the cheek. Hiro did not recoil; the touch of Shuichi's silky lips felt good to Hiro against his face.

"Shuichi, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why do you kiss me when you want to thank me for something?"

Shuichi choked, "Umm...because...well...because I don't think just a hug or a 'thank you' is enough."

"Oh, okay."

"And besides, I like kissing you."

Shuichi slapped his hand over his mouth...did he just say that out loud? His eyes bugged out of his head, and his heart pounded faster as he wondered what Hiro would say. Hiro could not believe what he had just heard.

"Y..you LIKE kissing me?", Hiro asked meekly.

"Umm, no...that's not what I meant..."

"But you said -"

"Okay, I admit it...I enjoy kissing you, Hiro!"

Shuichi shouted it, and Hiro was even more surprised the second time. He sat leaned against the couch, not knowing quite how to react. Before he knew it, Shuichi was standing up in front of him, looking into his eyes.

"And...if it's okay with you, Hiro...I'd like to kiss you again."

"...what?", Hiro was shocked.

"Yeah, but only if it's okay with you. And it'll be like the first one I gave you."

Hiro's eyes frantically looked from side to side, searching for something that was not there; he was so confused and nervous at that point. But he decided to give in, to make Shuichi happy.

"Okay, go ahead Shuichi."

Shuichi smiled a little grin as he moved closer to Hiro. Then he did something completely unexpected: Shuichi squatted a slight bit and straddled Hiro's lap. Hiro felt his heart rush as if he had just finished running a mile. Shuichi's eyes were so full of joy and love, unlike anything Hiro had ever seen before. Shuichi held onto Hiro's shoulders for his own support, and proceeded to slowly bend down to deliver his kiss. Their faces got closer and closer, and Shuichi moved that extra inch that locked their lips. At first, the kiss was a brief one - only about three seconds. Then Hiro did something that he did not necessarily intend to do: he put his arms around Shuichi, hugging him a bit closer. Shuichi understood this gesture as saying "More, please", and, in a way, that is what Hiro wanted. Shuichi cupped Hiro's toned face in his hands and held him close before delivering another kiss. The only difference this time was there was no separation; the kiss kept going.

Shuichi slipped his hands behind Hiro's head, and grasped onto his neck. Hiro held Shuichi closer with a firm hug. The two of them kissed slowly, yet very deeply. Shuichi could already feel a greater passion with Hiro than he ever did with Eiri. After nearly a minute of uninterrupted kissing, Hiro's body became the dominant force; he clutched Shuichi tightly as he lay the pink-haired boy down onto the couch. Shuichi's legs were still wrapped around Hiro, and in their new position, Hiro was knelt between Shuichi's parted legs. Shuichi held Hiro tighter than before, and the kiss deepened even further. As Shuichi used one hand to hold Hiro's head in place, he Shuichi slid his tongue into Hiro's mouth. Hiro flinched, but did not break the kiss, and eventually responded by thrashing his tongue about inside Shuichi's mouth. The only sound that could be heard was the low droll of moaning that was muffled by two interlocked mouths.

Suddenly, in the midst of their kiss, the telephone rang. At first, Hiro and Shuichi ignored the ringing and continued to kiss. But when it rang over a dozen times, Hiro figured it might have been something important. He got up off Shuichi, wied the saliva from his face, and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hiro? It's Tohma."

"Oh hello, Mr. Seguchi."

"Is Shuichi there with you?"

"Yes. Do you want to talk to him?"

"No, but he needs to get to the hosptial as soon as possible, if you can give him a ride", Tohma said in a tense tone.

"The hospital? Why does he need to go there?"

Tohma sighed heavily, "Hiro, there's been an accident."

Hiro felt his heart drop into his feet as he heard Tohma out; if Tohma was worried, then it was most likely something very bad. "An accident? What happened?"

Tohma was rather hesitant to speak, "...Eiri was in a car accident. He's in the emergency room right now."

"What! How did this happen?", Hiro muttered, rather shaken up himself from hearing this news.

"Just get him here, and I'll explain everything when you arrive. Please hurry, Hiro!"

Tohma hung up. Shuichi saw he look on Hiro's face and immediately worried.

"Hiro, who was that?"

"It was Tohma."

"Crap, did we have practice today?", Shuichi wondered out loud.

"No. But Shuichi get your coat and shoes on. We need to go to the hospital right now."

"The hospital? Why?"

Hiro sighed, and spoke in his most gentle tone, "Shuichi...Eiri was in a car accident. He's in the emergency room."

Shuichi froze, and his eyes got wide, "Yuki? In an accident?"

Hiro nodded.

"But how? What happened? Is he okay?", Shuichi asked question after question.

"Shuichi, just get your stuff. Tohma said he wants you to get there now. Come on, I'll give you a lift."

Shuichi nodded and slid into a coat and his sneakers in a split second. For the first time, Shuichi was waiting for Hiro to get on the motorcycle. After fastening their helmets, Hiro sped off toward the hospital. During the entire trip, Shuichi's heart was aching, wondering if his blonde lover was okay.

Author's Note: -gasp- Bad Eiri! He should know better than to drive while being so smashed. Hopefully this will build some suspense :3


	12. Chapter 11: An Upsetting Prognosis

**Chapter 11 - An Upsetting Prognosis**

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Hiro parked his motorcycle haphazardly in a parking place and Shuichi dashed through the emergency room doors. Inside, he saw Tohma, Mika, and Tatsuha all sitting, awaiting Eiri's prognosis.

"Mr. Seguchi!", Shuichi cried out.

Tohma immediately stood up as Shuichi ran to him. "Shindo, thank goodness you got here."

"What happened? Please tell me what happened.", Shuichi pleaded to his boss.

Tohma clasped Shuichi shoulder with his gentle hand, "Shuichi, please sit down and I will tell you what happened...Eiri had gotten himself drunk, and apparently decided to drive somewhere. But he swerved into oncoming traffic and hit another car head-on. He wasn't wearing his seatbelt, and he crashedthrough the windshield head first."

Shuichi could not believe what he was hearing, "Is..is he okay? Will he be okay?"

"We don't know yet.", Mika replied.

"They said he looked pretty bad when he came in", Tatsuha interjected.

Hiro, after parking his motorcycle properly, finally got inside. He walked toward Tohma.

"Mr. Seguchi, what happened to Eiri?"

Shuichi answered, "He...he was driving drunk...and he...he hit another car...", he trailed off into a sob.

"Oh no...", Hiro muttered. But inside his mind, he thought, "That bastard got what was coming to him."

After four long hours in the waiting room, the doctor emerged from behind the emergency room doors. Everyone in the waiting area stood up.

"How is he, doctor?"

The doctor replied in a low voice, "Mr. Yuki has lost a considerable amount of blood from his wound, and he has a fractured skull."

"Will he pull through?", Tohma asked.

"We don't know yet...but because of his head injuries, if he does live, he may be paralyzed from the neck down and unable to speak for the rest of his life."

Mika shuddered and turned to her husband, who hugged her tightly. Tohma comforted her, while finding comfort in her as well. Shuichi cried into his hands, and even Hiro found himself crying over Eiri's plight. "You deserved to be punished, but not that badly", he thought.

The doctor approached Tatsuha and Mika and asked, "Mr. Yuki had no specifications pertaining to this matter that we know of, so it will be up to you and your family to decide this. If he can pull through, Mr. Yuki needs to be put on life support. But in the event we can do nothing more for him, would you prefer he remain on it?"

Although the doctor was being very compassionate, his question sounded very depressing. Mika and Tatsuha looked at each other, and Shuichi stared at them as well. Finally, Mika spoke up, "Eiri wouldn't have wanted to be kept alive by machines. If you can't help him, then please don't let him suffer."

The doctor gave her a nod; Shuichi could not believe what had happened. Only two days before, he was hating Eiri for hurting him, and now he was scared for Eiri's life. Shuichi found the courage to speak up, "Where is Yuki now?", his voice was cracked and hoarse.

"He is in the intensive care unit, but he is unconscious."

"Oh...", Shuichi did not know what to say.

"If you want to see him, you may."

Shuichi looked around to see everyone staring him down. He sniffled and wiped his tears away before saying, "I do, but if his family wants to see him first, then let them."

Shuichi nodded toward Mika, Tatsuha, and Tohma. The doctor turned to them, "Do you want to see him?"

All three agreed and followed the doctor behind the gargantuan doors. Shuichi curled up in a chair and cried; he just could not believe what had happened to Eiri. Nearly forty minutes later, the three acquaintances of Eiri exited, all of them with upset faces. Shuichi saw them and feared the worst. He ran to Tatsuha and grabbed him by his shoulders, "Tatsuha, is he..."

Tatsuha shook his head, "No...he just looked so bad. I didn't even see my brother under all those bandages and tubes."

"Young man, do you want to see Mr. Yuki?", the doctor asked Shuichi.

"Yes, please."

The doctor led Shuichi down a long corridor. As he trekked slowly down the brightly lit hallway, Shuichi peered into the rooms; he saw people wired to machines, laying in their beds, totally incapable of moving. He even witnessed one room full of people, gathered around a single bed; they had chosen to 'pull the plug' for that unfortunate family member, and wished to be there for that person's final moments. Shuichi felt his heart leap up into his throat - that may very well be Eiri's fate. Shuichi continued to walk, not watching his steps, and he accidentally bumped into the doctor.

"I'm sorry...just have a lot on my mind and wasn't paying attention."

"I understand, son. He's in there, and take as long as you want."

Shuichi entered the room; it was lit by a single light in the corner. There was a bed in the middle of the room, and another hidden behind a curtain. However, no one was occupying the hidden bed. In the first bed, there lay the body of a person. Fairly built, and quite tall, Shuichi approached slowly. The hands and most of the arms were bandaged, and IVs and wires of all sorts stuck out from under the bandages. The man's head was heavily wrapped in bandages, and all that was visible was the eyes and nose. Shuichi knew that particular curve of the forehead, and those beautifuly long eyelashes - it was Eiri under all those white cloth strips. Shuichi could not see Eiri's mouth; it was covered in bandages that were securing a breathing tube deep inside Eiri's throat. It hurt Shuichi to see Eiri like this. He looked at a small monitor beside the bed; it recorded Eiri's heart rhythm. The rhythm seemed very slow, but it was there. Seeing his lover in this condition, Shuichi could not help breaking down and crying. He cried over Eiri for an hour, wishing he would open his eyes, pull the tube from his throat, and say "Quit crying, you damn brat". Shuichi missed how Eiri would call him that, and it was those memories that made Shuichi feel even worse.

"Please don't leave me, Yuki...I...I swear I'm not mad at you for what happened. I'm sure you had your reasons for doing it, and I probably deserved it. But please, PLEASE, don't die!"

Shuichi cried out loud, burying his face in Eiri's blanket. But no amount of tears would make Eiri open his eyes or mumble something from the depths of his bandages. Wiping his tears away, Shuichi planted a kiss on Eiri's face, just below his left eye; it was one of a few places where he could kiss Eiri that was not covered in bandages. Taking a final glance at the blonde man, Shuichi left the room.

He made his way back to the waiting area, where everyone but Hiro had left. Hiro saw the look in Shuichi's eyes and rushed to him and clutched the small boy in his arms.

"I'm so sorry, Shuichi.", Hiro stroked his friend's head.

"It wasn't your fault, Hiro. It's just...he looks so beaten up...I don't know if he will live."

"Have faith in him. You need to believe that he will mame it, Shuichi."

With those last words, Hiro and Shuichi left the hospital. Shuichi could barely hang on on the ride home, and the moment he got into the apartment, he crashed to his knees and sobbed. Hiro comforted Shuichi as best he could; Shuichi got up and headed for the bedroom. He did not say a single word to Hiro after they left the hospital, and Shuichi threw himself on the bed, crying into the pillow. He eventually cried himself to sleep. Hiro rested on the couch, wondering what he could do to help, and also wondering what may happen to Shuichi if Eiri did not survive.

**_Author's Note: Makes you wonder what will become of Eiri, aye? Ah, the joy of suspense._**


	13. Chapter 12: A Light of Hope

Wow, it's been a while since I updated this story, aye? I apologize, but I've been busying myself lately with lots of stuff, and I had almost forgotten about this story. Didn't mean to leave you guys hanging. Forgive me for the brevity of this chapter :3

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**Chapter 12 - A Light of Hope**

Shuichi visited Eiri every day for hours, simply watching over him, hoping for some little sign of movement to signal that he Eiri was still on earth. This went on for nearly eight months, and it was because of Shuichi's will to stay by Eiri's side that Bad Luck broke up. Shuichi had advised Hiro and Suguru to find a new lead singer, but they refused; they truly wanted him to sing. Tohma knew Shuichi was grieving as much as he was, and promised the band a second chance when Shuichi could collect himself once more.

But, eight months of life support for Eiri was not cheap for his family; they had to put every nickel they had into paying for Eiri's life support, just so he could stay alive on a machine for one more day. To the doctors, Eiri was clinically dead, being kept 'alive' by a breathing tube and numerous medications that were pumped into him to keep his body from failing. The wound on his head healed eventually, but the damage done to his brain was unknown. One day, when Shuichi had come to see Eiri, he saw Mika and Tohma speaking to a doctor. Hiding behind a wall corner, he listened to their conversation.

"Our family is completely broke, doctor. We are thousands of dollars in debt."

"So what would you like to do?"

Tohma sighed sadly, "He has not improved in these months, despite treatment. I think it is only fair to Eiri that we take him off life support."

The doctor stood silent for a few long seconds, and then said, "As you wish. Do you want to inform the rest of your family, so they may be there?"

"Yes. May we set a day to do this?", Mika asked.

"Certainly."

"We will see if we can get the family to all be here by this coming Sunday."

"Okay."

The doctor did not know what else to say; Tohma and Mika left through a side door, and Shuichi collapsed, clutching his chest...they were going to let Eiri die. Shuichi understood that the costs of such care are unbelievably high, but can you really put a price on life? Does Eiri not mean more than that to his family?

As Shuichi got up, he ran into the doctor.

"Oh, hello son. Have you come to see Mr. Yuki?"

Shuichi nodded, and he found his own way to Eiri's room; he had visited so often that he could find the room blindfolded. Inside, Eiri looked the same as before, only without all the bandages. Shuichi could clearly see his face, as well as the spot on his head where the hair had not grown back after the wound healed. Was Shuichi really going to lose his lover?

"Yuki...your family wants to take you off your life support on Sunday...that's in four days. Please, please Yuki...please give us a sign. Let us know you're still with us. I...I don't want you to die."

Shuichi kissed Eiri on the cheek, and then ran his fingers through the blonde man's hair. Shuichi recalled how Eiri's hair used to be silky, and soft to the touch. Now, it was rigid and tangled; so much for hospital care. Shuichi stayed for nearly the entire day, hoping Eiri would awaken, but he never did. For the next three days, Shuichi never left Eiri's side. He did not eat or drink anything; he wanted to be with Eiri as long as possible before the family came to be with Eiri in his final moments. Shuichi knew the Uesegi family would not allow him to be present when they removed Eiri's breathing tube, and he wanted to simply spend time with Eiri before Sunday.

Shuichi tried to remember all the good times he and Eiri had, and he said them out loud, as if Eiri could hear him. Those fond memories brought tears to Shuichi's eyes when he realized that he would never be able to relive those memories ever again. Even if Eiri did survive, he would be paralyzed from the neck down, and be unable to talk. He would be a zombie to the world. But Shuichi did not care...all he wanted was for Eiri to open his eyes and be alive, no matter what condition he was in. Shuichi yearned to look into those golden eyes, and proclaim his love over and over again until he would be the one in need of a breathing tube.

Going three days without sleep, Shuichi's body succumbed to exhaustion and he passed out, his head resting in his arms at the foot of Eiri's bed. His dreams were filled with visions of happier times, when he and Eiri were together. It was not until late Sunday afternoon that Shuichi woke from a deep sleep. The doctor was in a chair across the room waiting for him to rouse. As Shuichi got up, he looked about...the bed was empty. Eiri was not there anymore, and Shuichi immediately feared the worst. He ran to the doctor in a frenzy.

"Where's Yuki? Where is he? Did you take him off life support? Please tell me where he is!", Shuichi pleaded desperately and tearfully.

"Eiri is not here, son."

Shuichi broke down and began to sob; the doctor caught him in his arms and lifted him back up.

"Don't be so upset. What I mean is that he is not in this room anymore."

Shuichi sniffled, "Then...where is he now?"

"He is in a room on the next floor."

"Is, he still in intensive care?"

The doctor shook his head, "No. He was removed and placed in another wing."

"What wing?"

The doctor smiled, "He's in Recovery."

Shuichi's eyes got as wide as saucers, "...Recovery?"

"Yes. When his breathing tube was removed, he began to breathe on his own."

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**Author's Note: Sorry to disappoint all you guys who wanted Eiri to die...but happy to satisfy those who wanted him to pull through :3. I know this chapter is kind of short, but I will try to get Chapter 13 up soon because I'm so merciless when I end my chapters at the most crucial moments XD. Muchas gracias to everyone who has read the story and taken a moment to comment on it; I appreciate any criticism, whether its good or bad, and seeing those reminders in my email that tell me I have reviews just makes me feel all warm and tingly Xp. Thanks again guys.**


	14. Chapter 13: Of Joy and Anger

Hey guys, it's been a while, has it not? I've been trying to think of how I want this story to progress, and it's coming along smoothly. I have only this chapter to post currently, but there are two others under construction. Don't get your hopes up too high, because nothing too exciting happens in this chapter, although one of the big turning points occurs in this part of the story.

**Healing His Wounds - Chapter 12: Of Joy and Anger**

Shuichi could not believe his ears, "So...so he's okay?"

"We don't know the extent of damage to his brain, but right now he can breathe without life support and he will live."

"Has he opened his eyes or said anything yet?

"No, not yet."

"But, I thought you said he wouldn't make it without life support."

"That's what we thought too. But apparently Mr. Yuki has an angel looking out for him."

Shuichi smiled a small smile, "Can I see him?"

The doctor nodded, and led Shuichi to Eiri's new room. Once inside the room, the doctor pointed to the bed at the far end of the room; that was Eiri's bed. Shuichi approached slowly, not wanting to rouse the other patients sharing the room. He reached Eiri's bedside and studued the blonde man: he looked the same as he had the day before, only he did not have the bulky tube in his mouth. He still had IVs inserted into him, but no ventilator. He was breathing on his own. That made Shuichi very happy. He ran his fingers gently through the mass of golden blonde hair, feeling Eiri's scalp beneath. Suddenly, Eiri flinched. Shuichi immediately withdrew his hand. Eiri twitched a couple more times befor resting. That is when he turned his head to the side, facing Shuichi. His eyelids fluttered weakly before opening partially. Eiri eyes darted about the room curiously, wondering where he was. Then, he saw Shuichi standing beside his bed, completely awestruck. Eiri wanted to talk so badly, but he was still very weak. All he could muster up was a smile.

A smile is all it took to melt Shuichi's heart; Shuichi smiled back as tears rolled down his face. He collapsed on Eiri's stomach and hugged him, sobbing into his lover's gown. Eiri gasped from Shuichi's weight on him, but his breathing returned to its previous pace and shrill sound nonetheless. He found the strength to move his arm, and gently placed his hand on Shuichi's back, as if he was reasuuring the boy that everything would be fine. Shuichi cried harder, overjoyed that his blonde-haired angel had not yet left the world.

At one point, Mika walked in and saw Shuichi leaned over on Eiri, sobbing. Her first thought was that her brother has passed away. She shrieked at Shuichi.

"Oh no! Eiri!"

Shuichi turned around, tears staining his face. "What's wrong, Mika?"

"Is Eiri...okay?"

"Yes, look for yourself."

Mika looked and saw her brother's glistening golden eyes looking up at her. He gave her a small smile before resting again; he was indeed very weak and in need of serious recuperation. Mika joined Shuichi and sobbed in joy. Shortly after, Tohma and Tatsuha entered and were beyond thrilled to see Eiri had opened his eyes. The four of them stayed by Eiri's side for the entire day, and they each gave him a hug and kiss before leaving...even Tatsuha. Shuichi was the last person out, but he wanted to give Eiri an extra large hug.

"I'm gonna go, Yuki. But today was good...I'm glad you're still with us."

He clasped Eiri in a light, but loving embrace and then proceeded to give his lover a peck on the cheek before departing. As Shuichi lifted himself from Eiri, the blonde man gave Shuichi a smile and began to move his arm. Shuichi watched closely as Eiri curled his fingers and made a come hither motion. Shuichi understood the gesture and moved close to Eiri's face. Eiri weakly lifted his arm and placed his hand on the back fo Shuichi's head. With barely any pressure, he pushed the pink fluffy head closer. Eiri parted his lips ever so slightly, and Shuichi knew exactly what he wanted. Leaning in close, Shuichi kissed his lover for the first time in months. Shuichi made the kiss fairly short, remembering that Eiri had trouble breathing anyway. Eiri smiled, stroked Shuichi's hair a final time, and relaxed into his bed before going to sleep.

"Goodnight, Yuki...I love you."

Eiri smiled at Shuichi once again before the strawberry-haired teenage boy left the room to head home.

Shuichi arrived back at Hiro's apartment, and Hiro clutched Shuichi in a tight hug. Shuichi had not seen Hiro for three days, and Hiro missed his pink furball.

"It's good to see you again, Shu", Hiro said happily.

"Good to see you too, Hiro."

The two of them sat down on the couch and Hiro asked, "How is Eiri doing? Any better?"

Shuichi yipped happily, "Yeah! He can breathe on his own."

Hiro was amazed, "He can?"

"Yes! And when I saw him today, he opened his eyes and smiled at me. He's still alive, Hiro! He's gonna be okay."

Shuichi was ecstatic, but Hiro's feelings were split down the middle. Part of him was glad to hear that the cold-hearted Eiri Yuki had survived, but the other part of him was disappointed that the blonde man had not perished in the crash. Hiro was worried that Shuichi would allow Eiri to take advantage of him again, and Hiro could not bear to see Shuichi in so much pain again.

"Shuichi...let me ask you something."

"Okay", Shuichi chirped as he lay snuggled deeply into Hiro's chest.

"If Eiri returns home, will you go back to him?"

Shuichi thought about that for a moment...'if Eiri goes back home, will you go back with him?' Shuichi did not think about that...

"Umm...probably. I want to be there to help him if he needs help."

"But, won't his family be doing that?", Hiro asked.

"Yeah, but I still want to be there with him. I want to be sure he's okay. I don't want him to think I deserted him."

"Shuichi, that man raped you. How could you want to go back to him?"

Shuichi became defensive, "He didn't hurt me on purpose! And besides, I love him. I'm happy that he's okay, because no matter what he does to me I'll always love him."

This made Hiro a bit ruffled, "You love him after he raped you! You really are a moron. It doesn't matter how drunk he is, he shouldn't have done that to you! Don't you see, Shuichi? He's using you! You're his fuck toy!"

In that instant, Shuichi felt an animalistic rage boil within him and he stood up immediately and punched Hiro in the face. Hiro managed to catch himself on the arm of the couch and stand back up. He rubbed his aching jaw, his fingers dampening from the fresh blood that dripped from his mouth. Shuichi was breathing hard, and his eyes were full of fire; he was fuming.

"Shut the hell up! Hiro, you've always envied me, all my life. You're jealous of my singing talent, and now you're jealous that I have a lover. You're just pissed that you have no one that loves you!"

Shuichi's words caught Hiro by surprise, and he shuddered before sitting back down on the couch. He bowed his head to the floor, with his mouth cupped in his hand. His shoulders began to quiver, and Shuichi heard a single choking sound come from behind Hiro's blood-stained hand.

"...Hiro?", Shuichi's voice became suddenly sympathetic.

Shuichi sat beside his friend and gently brushed away a long lock of rusty hair to reveal a soft white face with a single line of tears drawn from the eye to the jaw.

"Hiro...I...I'm sorry. Please, don't cry. I didn't mean it...", Shuichi pleaded as he placed his hands gently upon Hiro's shoulders.

Hiro never once looked up, but removed the hand from over his mouth, "No Shuichi...you're right. I don't have anyone that loves me, and it hurts so much. It cuts through me like a knife. And seeing you so deeply in love...it makes me jealous. I just have always wanted to love someone like that, and to be loved in return."

"Hiro, I'm sorry...I'm sorry I hit you, and - ", Shuichi was interrupted as Hiro finally did look up.

His face was streaked with tears and his mouth was curved into a frown as he choked from crying, "Shuichi, I just don't want to see you get hurt again by going back."

Hiro stroked his friend's face with his clean hand, "I want you to be safe...but I also want you to be happy."

Shuichi was very quiet for a long long time, but then he found the strength to say to Hiro, "You mean a lot to me, Hiro. I can't begin to say how thankful I am for you allowing me to live here with you. I owe you big time...

...but now Yuki needs me. I need him too, Hiro."

Hiro could only nod; this is what his friend wanted. "So, when are you leaving?", Hiro asked sadly.

"Maybe tomorrow, so I can be there when Yuki comes home."

Hiro wiped his tears away and hugged Shuichi tightly. Shuichi wrapped his arms around his friend and held him close, adoring the heat that his skin made. Shuichi nuzzled his face into Hiro's shoulder, taking in that wonderful scent yet again. Then, Hiro said something that made Shuichi feel a prickling in his heart.

With a quick stroke of his hand through the young man's hair, Hiro whispered into his friend's ear, "I love you, Shuichi."

****

**Author's Note: gasps Hiro revealed his true feelings for Shuichi! Oh happy day! And Eiri has roused from his catatonic state after being taken off life support...but will his health continue to improve? Find out in Chapter 14!**

**Also, I'd like to take this time to thank all the readers once again for their support. I feel so special knowing that you guys are reading the story and leaving me such wonderful comments wipes tear away -**

**-LinZ**


	15. Chapter 14: Because He Loves You

Healing His Wounds - **Chapter 13: **"Because He Loves You..."

* * *

For the first time in months, Shuichi slept alone. Hiro lay on the couch, not knowing how to act or what to say. Shuichi never responded to him when he Hiro admitted his love for the young pink-haired boy. In fact, Shuichi never spoke a word for the remainder of the evening. Hiro figured he would head for the couch, and Shuichi would invite him into the bed, but it did not happen. Somehow, Hiro felt as if he had done something terrible that could never be fixed, and he hated himself for it. He feared now that Shuichi hated him.

The next morning, Shuichi woke from a troubled slumber. He got up sluggishly and headed for the living room; he needed to talk to Hiro at once. But, much to his surprise, Hiro was not there. Shuichi roamed the apartment, calling out Hiro's name, but there was no answer. Shuichi would give his friend some time before going to look for him. In the meantime, he picked up the telephone and called Tohma, but there was no answer. Shuichi figured that perhaps Tohma was running errands, so he decided to try again later. He was wondering if they knew how Eiri was doing. Shuichi lazily threw himself on the couch - he was terribly bored. Twenty minutes passed, and Shuichi began counting the rivets in the ceiling. That is when the telephone rang. Shuichi hopped up swiftly and answered.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Mr. Shindo."

"Oh hello, Mr. Seguchi. I just called you about twenty minutes ago."

"I wasn't home. In fact, I'm not even home now."

"Oh?"

"I'm at the hospital right now."

For some reason, Shuichi got a bad feeling. But, Tohma's voice sounded normal, "The hospital? Is Yuki all right, sir?"

"Yes, he's fine. The reason I'm calling is that he's asking for you."

Shuichi felt his heart sink, "He...he's what?"

"You heard me, Mr. Shindo...Eiri is asking to see you, and I ask that you please honor his wishes."

"...of...of course!", Shuichi's voice became more cheerful, "I'll be there as fast as I can, but I may still take a while."

"Is Mr. Nakano going to bring you?", Tohma asked because he was under the impression that Hiro refused to provide transportation for Shuichi.

"No, he wasn't here this morning when I woke up and he never returned home."

"Oh dear...well, hopefully he will return. Anyway, please get here as soon as possible, Mr. Shindo. Eiri is getting more and more antsy awaiting your arrival."

Shuichi said nothing before hanging up the phone; he rushed to find his coat and shoes, slipped into them, and bolted out the door. Never had he run so fast for so long than when he was on his way to the hospital. What would have taken about a half hour utilizing a normal walking pace took Shuichi a bit less than fifteen minutes employing alternating spats of running, jogging, and sprinting. He reached the hospital, completely out of breath. Tohma was just within the front doors to show Shuichi to Eiri's room, which had been changed yet again for reasons unknown.

"You are exhausted, Mr. Shindo. We'll walk a but slower so you may catch your breath."

"No...", Shuichi said between gasps, "...I need to see Eiri. Don't slow down for me."

Tohma gave a simple nod and guided Shuichi to Eiri's new room. Shuichi entered, somehow full of trepidation, but also full of excitement. Eiri was laying on his bed with his eyes open; Shuichi expected to see Mika and Tatsuha there with him, but it was only Tohma who was able to visit that day. Tohma spoke out loud to his brother-in-law.

"Eiri, Shuichi is here to see you..."

Eiri turned his head toward Shuichi, and Shuichi felt a cold chill dance down his spine; he was not anxious, but he felt an indescribable coldness strike him all throughout when he saw his lover look toward him. Eiri did not have that piercing stare anymore - his eyes were partially closed, making him look as if he had been disturbed and awakened from a deep sleep. Shuichi slowly approached Eiri's bed, and Tohma understood this as his cue to leave the two men alone. Shuichi knelt beside the bed and spoke softly, while on the brink of tears, to his blonde lover.

"Mr. Segu...I mean Tohma said that you were asking for me...Eiri, can you speak?"

Eiri opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. After three futile attmpts, Eiri gave up and heaved a sigh of defeat. He then turned to Shuichi, and Shuichi saw the golden glow within Eiri's eyes that he had seen before, when they would be together, being happy; he knew Eiri was still there, even if his voice was not.

"Yuki, I don't care if you've lost your voice...I love you, and I don't ever want to leave you. I will help you in any ways that I can."

Eiri nodded and moved his arm up onto his abdomen, resting it there. Shuichi motioned quickly to Eiri before saying, "I'll be right back...I need to see if Mr. Seguchi is still here. I must ask him something..."

And with that, Shuichi was out the door. Outside, Tohma was waiting beside the door. Upon seeing Shuichi exiting, an expression of shock stretched across his face.

"I expected a longer stay."

"I intend to stay much longer, Mr. Seguchi, but I must ask you something."

"Of course, Shindo. Ask away."

"You said that Yuki had asked for me...how did he ask for me if he cannot speak?"

Tohma's face got a bit red, but he attempted to explain, "He...umm...showed us that he wished to see you."

"Okay, how'd he d that?", Shuichi was totally perplexed.

"How can I word this...well, I'll just tell you straight...Eiri began fidgeting a lot earlier because he wanted something. When I asked him what, he pointed to a large bruise on the side of his neck...I assumed it was one of your love bites that was taking a long time to heal, and when I said your name, he nodded and smiled...that's how he 'told' me he wanted to see you."

Shuichi felt his face turn bright red with embarrassment as his jaw hung open, because the night before Eiri had raped him, he and Eiri had been enjoying a bit of foreplay, and Shuichi had left a mark on Eiri's neck with his mouth. But Shuichi could not complain because he had many similar bruises upon his spindly body...they were simply not in places that could be seen in public view.

* * *

While the relieved Shuichi was in the hospital keeping a vigil on his beloved Eiri, a rather depressed Hiro was in a more remote and desolate part of the city...within a small forest area. He had left early in the morning on his motorcycle and he had been there for many hours, simply contemplating allthat had occurred in the past few days. He was happy to know that Eiri was going to pull through, but he was irritated about the fact that Shuichi wished to return to the writer; Hiro could not ever forgive Eiri for what he had done to Shuichi, and he was only worried that Shuichi might get hurt again...or, was it something else?

Hiro thought about it even longer...was his real reasoning behind not wanting Shuichi to return to Eiri that he Hiro did not want Shuichi to be hurt? Or is it true that Hiro was so much in love with the pink-haired youth that he was not fully willing to give him up?

"Am I unsupportive of his decision because I want him to remain safe? Or do I want to be with him THAT badly?", Hiro asked himself, "I love him dearly, but if Eiri is who he really wants, how can I possibly hold him back from what will make him happy? I can't do that to Shuichi - he has suffered enough, and if Eiri is who he wants, then so be it."

Hiro made up his mind, and with his final thoughts, he boarded his motorcycle and rode home to speak to Shuichi.

**  
**

As Hiro neared his apartment, many thoughts were racing through his mind, but one in particular had a profound effect on him...so profound, in fact, that he had to pull over and think about it more in-depth. He wondered about Eiri, and if he was recuperating normally. Although he would neverpardon the blonde writer for what he did to Shuichi, Hiro wanted Shuichi to be happy, even if it meant allowing him to return to Eiri. Before going home, Hiro decided to make a quick stop at the hospital...

Hiro parked his motorcycle outside in the visitor parking lot and went into the hospital. He headed for Recovery immediately and asked the first doctor he saw about where Eiri's room was.

"What relationship have you with Mr. Yuki?", the doctor asked, apparently an exceptionally large snob.

"I'm his cousin.", Hiro made something up on an impulse to see Eiri.

"Well, all right. Mr. Yuki is in the last room in this hallway on the left side."

Hiro thanked the doctor and made his way to that particular room. The door was slightly ajar, and he peeked in to see if any of Eiri's family was there, or of Shuichi was there. But no one was in there, except Eiri in his bed. Hiro slowly walked in and headed to Eiri's bedside. Eiri stirred and looked up at Hiro with a blank stare. Hiro sat down upon the low window sill beside Eiri's bed and began to speak softly, yet firmly, to him.

"I'll bet you're surprised to see me here, aren't you?", Hiro said with a half-grin.

Eiri narrowed his eyes, but said nothing - he was still unable to speak. Hiro continued, "Well I see that you're still recovering...I must say that you've definitely got someone watching out for you if you survived that crash."

Eiri let out a snort and rolled his eyes; it was obvious that he was getting annoyed. Hiro gazed out the window for a moment before turning and facing Eiri. "Okay, I'll get to the point and leave so you may have some peace. I know you understand what I'm saying, so don't even try to pretend that you don't...

"...I will never forgive you for what you have done to Shuichi...EVER. The pain you put him through is pain that no one should have to endure. But despite all that pain he's been through...the entire time he's been with you...he still wants to come home with you. I can't believe he's that stupid, to want to return to a home to live with a man who raped him. But it's his decision. Do you know why he's going back to live with you?"

Eiri's eyes darted from side to side, before looking at Hiro; for the first time, Hiro believed he saw a look in Eiri's eyes that showed he was at a loss of words.

Hiro continued, "He's going back because he loves you...I don't know why he loves you, or how he loves you, but he does. He would sacrifice everything just for you."

This is when Hiro got right into Eiri's face and told him in a low, menacing tone, "If you EVER hurt him again, I swear...I'll kill you myself. I don't care if I get the death penalty, I will kill you. And if you want to know why, it's because...I love Shuichi. I don't want to see him getting hurt, and I feel he's putting himself at risk by returning to you. But I let him go because I want him to be happy, even if it means I'm unhappy. You just remember my promise...Eiri."

And with that, Hiro left the room; he hoped that he would never need to stoop so low as to cause Eiri harm, but if Eiri hurt Shuichi again, he Hiro would have no other option, in his own opinion. As Shuichi's best friend, bandmate, and secret admirer, Hiro has sworn to himself to always try and protect Shuichi.

* * *

**Author's Note: Hehehe, Shuichi left Eiri a bite mark :3**


	16. Chapter 15: Collapsing Hope

**Chapter 15: Collapsing Hope**

_Before the chapter actually begins, I'd like to say thank you very much to all who have read and reviewed this story. I cannot begin to explain how happy I am to see that people read and enjoy this tale, and it only makes me happier and willing to continue the story to its completion (not there yet!). Once again, thank you everyone for your wonderful comments. And now, on to Chapter 15...:_

* * *

Hiro headed home after stopping to eat something in the hospital cafeteria. Once he arrived home, Shuichi dashed into the room and greeted him kindly before crying about how worried he had been.

"Where have you been, Hiro? I've been so worried, wondering where you were. I thought you were hurt! Are you okay?", Shuichi stammered out.

"Yeah I'm okay...I just took a ride to have some time to think about some things.", Hiro said without really looking up at his friend.

A long silence ensued before Shuichi finally found the strength to ask, "Hiro, can I talk to you?"

Hiro said nothing - he only nodded and sat down beside Shuichi on the couch. Shuichi did not make eye contact with Hiro, but still spoke to him, "Hiro...about...what you told me...the other night...I...I'm sorry for reacting the way that I did. You just really got me by surprise."

"Sorry about that...I didn't mean to.", Hiro apologized.

"No, it's okay...but honestly, Hiro, I have wondered as well if I share the same feelings toward you...I know I care very much about you, not to mention that I feel my legs go weak and my heart race when I kiss you. That day when Tohma called about Eiri being in the accident...you and I had been...kissing rather passionately. And...well...I really enjoyed it."

Hiro wasn't quite sure what to think, but he looked Shuichi right in the eyes and said, "But who do you truly love, Shuichi? Me, or Eiri?"

Shuichi opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out; he thought long and hard about that question...who DID he truly love? He loved Eiri first, but Hiro fell in love with him after the assault Eiri made on Shuichi's body. Hiro showed him kindness, sympathy, and compassion in his time of grief. Shuichi felt as though he loved Hiro, but he also loved Eiri. Would he need to choose? "How can I possibly choose between my lover and my best friend? I...I can't choose. I love both of them...but the question now is who do I love more?" Shuichi had to think about that; he feared that, if he chose either of them, he would be desiring the other. It was a no-win situation, but Shuichi worked up his courage to tell Hiro what he really wanted.

"Hiro, I do care about you very much...we've known each other for many years...but...I just can't forget Yuki. I can't stop loving him, even after what he did to me. He and I need each other now more than ever. Hiro, I...I'm so sorry."

Hiro sighed and looked down at his feet. He said in a low tone, "This is really what you want, Shu?"

Shuichi muttered a low "yes", hardly more than a whisper. Hiro looked up at Shuichi with his best "happy" face and replied, "You do what will make you happy, Shuichi...and I'll always be there to support you, no matter what. But...can we at least stay friends?"

Shuichi only smiled and jumped onto Hiro, catching him in a bear hug. Hiro smiled, hoping only that Shuichi would find the happiness with Eiri that he dreamed of having.

* * *

Eiri was in the hospital for another two months, each day passing by slowly. His body improved greatly, far beyond what the doctors expected of him. His prognosis was that he could be paralyzed from the neck down, but after nearly a year in the hospital and eight of those months on life support, Eiri was able to do things like write, draw, feed himself, and even sit upright. It would take up to another year of physical therapy for him to learn to walk again; he could move his legs well enough, but he lacked the strength to hold himself up - eight months in a hospital bed will do that to a person. Eiri was also undergoing therapy to try and get his voice back, and he was making some progress...his voice was returning slowly; he gained the ability to muster up a whisper. Though raspy, his voice was there. Shuichi remembered coming to visit Eiri after returning home from an autograph signing and concert which lasted a month...when Shuichi entered Eiri's room, Eiri sat straight up and held his arms out to Shuichi. Ecstatic, Shuichi ran to his blonde lover and hugged him. In their embrace, Eiri pushed his face close to Shuichi's ear and whispered, "I missed you...damn brat." And at that point, Shuichi burst into a fit of tears and smiles; he was overjoyed that Eiri was getting back to normal.

Eiri continued to go through with his therapy and made steady progress for the remaining few weeks of his hospital stay. His family, especially Tohma and Mika, were overjoyed to know that Eiri was recovering - recovering, in fact, far better than doctors originally thought. Despite the accident and the impact it made on everyone's lives, all who were a part of Eiri's life were managing to move on, accepting things once more as life was slowly returning to normal.

...or so they thought...

It was a cold autumn morning when the Uesugi family was preparing to celebrate...celebrating Eiri's return home. Eiri was able to maneuver himself around in a wheelchair, and he regained the strength in his upper body. Also, his voice was deepening - regaining the masculine tone it originally had. And was Eiri ever ready to go home. Shuichi was there with them, just as excited as ever; he would be going home with Eiri to stay with him and watch over him, along with Tohma and Mika. Shuichi knew it would be hard to subdue his hyperactive attitude, but he would have to try - he did not want to cause Eiri any stress while he was still recovering.

Shuichi, Tohma, Tatsuha, and Mika all boarded Mika's and headed toward the hospital, each of them utterly elated as they thought of how good it would feel to have Eiri back home. All four of them went into the elevator and traveled up to Eiri's floor. Upon entering his room, they noticed that his bed was empty - Eiri was not there.

"Maybe he's in the bathroom", Tatsuha suggested.

Moments after they had entered the room, a young doctor came in to check on another patient. Tohma approached the doctor and said, "Excuse me, doctor...but do you know where this patient has gone?" Tohma pointed to Eiri's empty bed.

"You mean Mr. Yuki?", the young doctor asked.

"Yes...we came to see him.", Mika said.

"I'm sorry", the doctor said in a low tone, "But he's in the operating room right now."

Shuichi felt the blood leave his face and his heart sink into his feet. Tohma was afraid to ask, "Why is he in the operating room? He was supposed to go home today."

"He had been complaining of a burning feeling in his chest, as well as shortness of breath, so we took him to be examined and during the examination...he had a heart attack.", the doctor held his head low.

Shuichi and all the members of Eiri's family were speechless...they could not believe that something like this could have possibly happened after all Eiri had been through. After a long stretch of silence, Tohma managed to pipe up in a shuddering voice, "Do...do you know what caused it to happen?"

"We believe he has something called coronary heart disease...it's from a buildup of plaque in the arteries of the heart."

"Did it happen because of Eiri's being on life support?", Mika asked.

"It may have done some damage, but one of the leading causes of coronary heart disease is smoking...I read on Mr. Yuki's file that he is a smoker. We are certain that this is the cause behind his condition."

Tohma was hugging his wife close, while Tatsuha stood with his hands in his pockets and staring at the floor. Everyone was silent until Shuichi asked in a tearful tone, "Will Yuki survive?"

The doctor looked Shuichi in the eyes with a compassionate expression and said, "We don't know yet...the heart attack was massive."

Shuichi 's mind began to race with so many thoughts...would Eiri live? Would his quality of life be forever marred because of this heart attack if he did live? How would Shuichi cope if Eiri died? How would his family cope? But most importantly, one question was showing up over and over again...why did this happen?

"You may stay in the waiting room so we can update you on Mr. Yuki's status", the doctor suggested.

Tohma gave the doctor a nod and everyone left the room to wait outside the operation room for Eiri. Each one of them claimed a chair and awaited the doctor nervously. Tohma held Mika the entire time as they tried to comfort one another. Tatsuha was silently praying that Eiri would pull through, and Shuichi had silent tears running down his face. Shuichi held his face in his hands, unable to stop crying, no matter how much he tried. Tatsuha noticed Shuichi's behavior and sat in an empty chair beside the pink-haired boy. He wrapped his arm around Shuichi and said in a whisper, "We gotta hope for the best, Shuichi...I know my bro will get through this..."

Tatsuha hugged Shuichi, trying his best to comfort him while also trying his best not to break down into tears. It was an anxious and tearful time for everyone. The waiting room was eerily quiet; four hours passed by since Eiri went into surgery, and at about fifteen minutes past the fourth hour, a surgeon emerged from the operating room with a rather sullen look upon his face.

"Are you the ones waiting for Mr. Yuki?", the doctor asked.

"Yes", Tohma replied. He thought, "Who else would we be?"

"Mr. Yuki is currently on life support..."

"So...so he is still alive?", Shuichi whimpered.

"He's clinically dead, young man...he's being kept alive by the life support machines."

"Will he be able to live without them?", Tohma asked.

"He can, but only on one condition."

"What's that?", Tohma asked hesitantly.

The surgeon took a deep breath, finding it difficult to say, "The onyl way Mr. Yuki will have a chance to live off life support is if he hs a heart transplant."

* * *

**_Author's Note: Bet you guys didn't expect this to happen, did you? I'm so bad._**


	17. Chapter 16: Emotional Quest

**Chapter 16: Emotional Quest**

_Yes I finally updated...can you believe it? This chapter is rather long, so I guess it makes up for how long it took me to update. I will say this...this chapter contains (I will stress this) **graphic sexual scenes**, meaning that it is living up to it's mature rating. So, if you are at all offended by this kind of material, please don't read. I also hope that it isn't too graphic to be on this site (I could have made it much more detailed, but had I made it anymore basic, I think it would have sounded far too different from the rest of the story's context. _

_Other than that, I thank everyone who has read as well as those who have extended reviews. I appreciate everyone's criticism. Enjoy reading!_

* * *

Everyone was completely speechless - Eiri's health had improved so drastically over the past few months, and he was prepared to return to his home to be in the care of his family, and then he takes a turn for the worst - his life is threatened once again, but by heart disease this time. No one could believe what was happening, but refusing to believe did not change the fact that this terrible thing happened. Shuichi was fighting back a blitz of tears as painful thoughts and curses rushed through his mind.

"Why? Why Yuki? Gods, why is this happening to him? Hasn't Yuki been punished enough with the accident? He lost his voice and was totally immobile for months - he lost that time in his life and would never get it back. And now this...he's in danger again. His heart...he's so sick now, and he could die at any time. What can we do now? What can I do for my Yuki?"

The doctor asked, "What do you wish to do? You have a few options...you can leave Eiri on life support for what remains of his life, you can pull the plug, or you can have him receive the transplant."

Shuichi grimaced at the doctor...'what remains of his life'...Shuichi thought, "Yuki has the life in him, but his body is not giving him the chance to use it. We can't let him die!"

Mika asked the doctor, "If we took him off the life support, would he last very long?"

"No...his body would shut down within moments. I know that Eiri managed to live after you pulled the plug the last time, but I don't think there's any hope for another miracle of that sort, Miss."

"And if we left him on life support?", Tatshua asked shyly.

"He would just be kept alive by machines - he would not be able to talk or move or breathe. He would basically be a vegetable.", the doctor replied.

"I can't do that to Eiri...I refuse to let him go through life without being able to appreciate all that it has to offer", Tohma said in a scarily firm tone, "He'll have the transplant."

"Very well, Mr. Seguchi...but please know that transplant surgeries are not always successful - Eiri has a very good chance of dying on the operating table or having his body reject the heart."

"We need to try...Eiri deserves to have his life back.", Tohma said.

"Then that's what we'll do. But I do warn that donor hearts are the most in demand...it could be months before one is found. And Eiri may not have too many months left in him. But we will contact you as soon as we know we have found a heart...if we can find one. Also, people who receive heart transplants never live much longer than a year."

"I don't care...if we can give Eiri back even a few months of his life, then we'll go to any lengths. He's...he's just not ready to go yet...", Tohma tried his best to collect himself , "Thank you, doctor."

That night, Tohma, Mika, Tatsuha, and Shuichi all gathered at Eiri's apartment - Shuichi was terribly upset and went to Eiri's room and cried for many hours over Eiri's condition. The others were talking about what to do about their sibling and what would be the best way to care for him in his time of most dire need.

"Perhaps it would be best if we just took him off life support. What's the point of prolonging his life if it'll be miserable?", Mika argued.

"Is that how little you value life, Mika? This is your brother we're talking about! His existence is in great danger, and we have the chance to help him stay alive. Doesn't that mean anything to you?", Tohma said in a rather agitated tone.

"But don't you remember what the doctor said, Tohma? Finding a heart is really hard, and even if they did find one, who's to say that the operation would even be successful? Eiri could die in the middle of the transplant.", Mika continued to argue.

"Damn it, Mika! Why are you being so negative? Don't you care if Eiri lives? Doesn't he mean more to you!", Tohma shouted at her.

"I'm only looking out for what's best for Eiri...would you want him to live in pain or weakness if he did go through with the transplant?", she asked.

"And who is to say he would be in pain or be weak following the transplant? He won't become an invalid from getting a new heart...Mika, like it or not, Eiri will get that transplant. He will live.", Tohma's eyes were full of fire as he spoke to his wife.

Mika could not find the words to say to Tohma - he had such a sadistic look in his eyes that she dared not argue with him. Tatsuha had not said a word the entire time - he had simply bee listening to the tumult of the argument. At one point, Tohma turned to Tatsuha and asked him, "Tatsuha...what do you think about this? You haven't said anything."

"Well I didn't want to interrupt...but honestly, Tohma, I want what's best for my bro...whatever is it, I want it for him. Whether it's a new heart, or it's death...I want to know what will be best..."

There was a long silence...Mika assumed that Tatsuha was agreeing with her, and Tohma sighed and lowered his head. Tatsuha continued, "...and I believe what's best is for him to be home in the company of his family and with the one he loves. He needs that heart."

Tohma managed to break a smile...Mika was the one to sigh this time. Tatsuha turned to her and said, "C'mon sis...our bro needs this chance. He's been in that hospital for almost a year, and it's time he came back home. Let's not allow anything to get in our way...

...please, Mika...I want my brother back. I want him to call me names again and tell me how stupid I am and harass me. I miss all that...even if I can hear him one last time, it would make me content. C'mon...let's give him another chance."

Mika eyed her brother evilly, but finally smiled and hugged him and said, "You're right, Tatsuha...he needs to come home."

That night, everyone slept at Eiri's apartment; Shuichi, however, never fell asleep - he was crying until the early morning hours. On his way to the bathroom in the middle of the night, Tatsuha heard Shuichi sobbing and he stopped and listened to the boy's cries.

"Oh Yuki, why is this happening to you? Why? Why can't I be the one who's dying? If I could, I'd give you my life. I would happily die so you could live, Yuki. Please, please don't leave us, Yuki...don't leave me! I need you in my life! I love you, and I don't want to lose you!"

Tatsuha wiped his eyes - he did not realize that he had been crying. He knocked gently on the door and then said softly, "Can I come in, Shuichi?"

Shuichi replied with a very tearful "yes", and Tatsuha made his entrance. Shuichi had his face buried in a pillow that was drenched with tears. Shuichi's face was streaked with his tears; he gasped and choked from crying so hard and he could not breathe consistently.

"Calm down, Shuichi before iyou/i have a heart attack."

"Tatsuha, I can't live without Yuki...I just can't...", Shuichi sobbed.

"I know you love him, Shuichi...and to be honest, I don't think he can live without you either. He might say he hates you, but I know he'd be lost without you", he patted Shuichi on the back, "We decided to get Eiri that heart. We want him to live."

"B-but what if they can't find one?", Shuichi asked through a deep sob.

"You're starting to sound like my sister, Shuichi. Have faith...you gotta believe that things will work out."

The two young men hugged each other and cried together; Tatsuha held Shuichi until the pink-haired boy fell asleep. Tatsuha set him down gently upon the bed and covered him up...after three hours of crying and holding Shuichi, Tatsuha was finally able to visit the bathroom.

The next day, everyone had left early to speak to the doctors about the transplant procedure. Shuichi had slept late and woke to an empty apartment. He began to panic until he found a note left by Tohma. It read:

"Dear Shuichi,

Myself, Tatsuha, and Mika have gone to the hospital to find out about how the transplant will be performed for Eiri. We'll come back in a little while.

Tohma"

Shuichi needed to get out of the apartment for a while - he needed someone to talk to, and he knew of only one person. Throwing on a jacket, Shuichi headed for the door. Before leaving, he quickly scratched out a note for Tohma and company and left it on the kitchen countertop. It read:

"Mr. Seguchi, Mika, and Tatsuha,

Went to Hiro's place...I'll call later to see if you guys are back yet.

Shuichi"

And with that, Shuichi left for Hiro's apartment.

Hiro had been playing with his guitar for the past few days - not Tohma nor Shuichi had told him about what had happened. Hiro knew that Eiri was to go home the previous day, and he Hiro assumed that everyone was still celebrating Eiri's return, so he didn't bother trying to call. But then there was an abrupt knock at the door. Perplexed as to who would be visiting, Hiro got up quickly and answered the door. He was surprised to see his best friend and bandmate.

"Hey Shuichi."

"Sorry I didn't call, Hiro...I just...well, needed someone to talk to. Can you spare a few minutes?", Shuichi asked sadly.

"Of course, come on in and sit down."

Shuichi sat down on the couch; he looked as if he was about to explode in a fit of tears. Hiro sat down beside him and asked, "What's the matter, Shuichi? Is it...something about Eiri?"

Shuichi nodded and sniffled a little bit, "Yeah...something happened yesterday..."

"Didn't he go home with you guys?", Hiro asked, oblivious to the truth.

"No...Yuki...he...he had a heart attack yesterday morning."

"What!", Hiro shouted, "But how? I thought he was doing really well!"

"He was, but it just happened...he has some kind of heart disease and...he needs a transplant to live without life support."

"Oh no...is Tohma and the rest of the family going to get him the transplant?"

"Yeah...but...Yuki might not live through the operation because it's so risky. He could die, Hiro!"

"Oh Shu...I-I don't know what to say. I hope things will work out...I'm so sorry."

Shuichi could only cry as Hiro held him. As the pink-haired boy sobbed, Hiro prayed silently, "Please...please don't let Eiri die...Shuichi needs him. They need one another..."

For the first time, Hiro felt tremendous remorse for Eiri's plight; it was unbelievably terrible that Eiri had survived through an accident that should have killed him, recuperated well, and then have this happen. It was unfair - Eiri did not deserve to be punished so deeply. He may have hurt Shuichi, but not even he deserved to be put through such torture. Hiro wished that he could do something to aid Eiri when he needed it the most, but he had no idea what he could possibly do for the dying novelist...

Later that afternoon, Tatsuha returned to the apartment. Shuichi was not home and he had called Eiri's phone and left a message on the answering machine, telling where he was. Tatsuha played the single message back; it said:

"Hi guys, it's me. Just calling to say I'm at Hiro's place...I just...wanted someone to talk to I guess. I know you guys are doing what you can for Yuki, so I didn't want to get in the way. I'll be back later. Please tell me what the doctors said when you get back..."

Shuichi had hung up without a goodbye. Tatsuha erased the message and went into the living room and sat on the couch. Though he did not seem to be exhibiting a drastic concern for his brother's condition, deep down, he was scared sick for Eiri. His brother was so young; he had his whole life ahead of him to do great things, and he was being cut down in his prime by a heart condition. It was a dispiriting time for everyone; Tatsuha was waiting for another misfortune to strike his brother further down into the abyss of darkness and death...he wanted Eiri to live, but he just did not know if it was fathomable. He had to believe in his brother...had to believe he would find the strength to make it through the operation.

Shuichi returned home after some deep guidance from Hiro; Shuichi could do nothing for his lover physically, but he could do unlimited things emotionally and spiritually. Shuichi took a longer route back to Eiri's apartment so he could take time to do something he never thought of doing...praying. He spoke softly as he walked, praying to some unknown divinity that might have been listening...

"Spirits, please hear me. The one I love is in great danger - his life is threatened, and the only chance he has of survival is a heart transplant. He needs your help, for I can do nothing physically for him. Please, watch over him...protect him...save him..."

The prayer went on until Shuichi reached the apartment door. He gave the doorknob a twist to fin it was open - apparently someone was home. Inside, Tohma was sitting on the couch, looking rather impatient. Shuichi immediately searched Tohma's face for any sign of sadness or negativity, but found none. Tohma did not look upset, but he also did not look happy - his expression was indifferent. Shuichi approached him slowly and asked, "...what...did the doctors say, Mr. Seguchi?"

Tohma replied, "They went over the procedure for the surgery...how they would attach the valves of the donor heart to the ones in Eiri's body. It seemed like a relatively simple procedure, but actually performing that action would probably be much more difficult."

"...do they have a heart for him yet?"

"No...and I found out that there's quite a long waiting list for donor hearts..."

Shuichi began to worry..."So, even if a heart was found, Yuki might not even get it?"

"That's correct."

"That's bullshit! He needs a heart!"

Tohma's eyes went wide for a moment - he had never before heard Shuichi curse. But he had good reason to be cursing. "I know he does, Mr. Shindo...we can only hope now." A single tear slid down Tohma's face and his voice began to break. Shuichi's acerbity languished as he watched his boss bury his face in his hands and sob. Shuichi slowly approached Tohma and said, "I'm worried about him too, Mr. Seguchi...but I know we ourselves can't live for Yuki. Hiro told me that perhaps we can help him spiritually...by praying. We need to have faith, and believe that Yuki will be okay."

Tohma looked up at Shuichi with tear-glistened, bloodshot eyes and he clasped Shuichi in a warm embrace and cried. "I do believe he'll be okay...he _will_ pull through, no matter what!" Tohma was practically shouting at this point, but he stopped and released Shuichi. He looked into the eyes of the young musician and said, "Thank you for your advice...Shuichi. Thank you for restoring my hope."

Tohma turned to leave for home when he said back to Shuichi, "And by the way...you may call me Tohma." And with that, he went out the door.

* * *

Two weeks went by, and there was no news concerning a donor heart for Eiri. His condition remained stable on the life support machines, but he could not move or speak. He was clinically dead, but still had oxygen forced into his body to prolong his existence just a little bit longer. Shuichi, Tohma, and Tatsuha were still hanging onto that hope that they believed Eiri needed to pull through. Mika, however, had her doubts; she cared very much for her younger brother, but she believed that it was meaningless to keep Eiri alive on machines. Her brother, she understood, had arrived at Death's door, and he was ready to enter the spirit world...but Tohma was playing with fate and trying to keep Eiri from where he should be heading.

Shuichi, not wanting to be alone, went to Hiro's apartment to stay the night. The two boys watched a movie to take Shuichi's mind off things, and then stayed up all night having pillow fights and just simply talking. Acting normally really helped divert Shuichi's attention for a while; hiro was glad to see Shuichi laughing rather then crying. Shuichi's exhaustion finally won him over and he passed out on the floor, curled up in a way similar to how a cat would curl up to sleep. Hiro could not help but admire Shuichi in all his cuteness. Hiro lifted Shuichi up off the floor and carried him to his bed and lay him down on the soft comforter. Hiro gently ran his fingers through Shuichi's strawberry-pink locks and took in his every feature...his angelic face, his beautiful body, the sound of his gentle breathing against the air. He seemed like a little dream, topped off with pink frosting. Hiro smiled and drew himself closer to Shuichi. He got right up to Shuichi's face and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. Hiro blinked, feeling like he needed to give a little bit more. He tilted Shuichi's head so his face would be to the ceiling, and Hiro planted a gentle, yet loving kiss upon Shuichi's silken lips. Shuichi, awakened by the sensation of pressure upon his mouth, responded with a kiss; he opened his eyes to be met with a pair of beautiful sienna eyes looking back.

"What was the kiss for?", Shuichi asked with a light smile.

"Just wanted to kiss you goodnight."

"You...you didn't have to stop just because I woke up, you know..."

Hiro's face froze up for merely a second before he smiled and allowed his lips to dance upon Shuichi's once again, this time more passionately. Hiro was still standing up in an awkward position while he kissed the young man, and Shuichi eventually remedied that - he firmly grabbed onto Hiro's shirt sleeves and pulled Hiro on top of him. Hiro was straddling Shuichi's waist while continuing to kiss him. Shuichi's hands moved slowly from Hiro's back to his hair and back again; feeling Shuichi's hands on his body made Hiro happy. As the kiss continued to become more passionate, the hormones of both young men begin to flow more rapidly, and soon, both of them had a fledgling erection beneath their pants. Hiro moaned lightly into the kiss as he felt Shuichi's member rub against his own; Shuichi parroted this reaction. Hiro broke the kiss for a moment; he looked into Shuichi's beautiful amethyst eyes...he peered into Shuichi's mind. He knew what Shuichi wanted...he knew he wanted love. And love is what he would be given...Hiro was hungry for passion as much as Shuichi was, and he wanted to satiate his hunger with the one boy that he truly loved. Hiro proceeded to gently pull Shuichi's shirt off, and right after, he pulled his own shirt off, tossing both garments to the floor. The kissing resumed, and Shuichi ran his hands up and down Hiro's back; feeling Hiro's bare flesh made him want the brown-haired musician even more; the warmth of Hiro's skin made Shuichi feel giddy. While kissing, Hiro slid his tongue between Shuichi's lips and pressed lightly into his mouth to see if he wanted this; Shuichi was taken by surprise by Hiro's sudden entrance, but when he knew what was happening, he happily parted his jaws to allow Hiro's tongue in. Hiro pushed his tongue deep into Shuichi's mouth, tasting every inch, massaging Shuichi's tongue with his own. Shuichi eventualyl closed his lips on Hiro's tongue and sucked it lightly...this made Hiro rather aroused. When Shuichi stopped, Hiro withdrew his tongue into his mouth, and Shuichi's pursued. This time, Hiro returned the favor and suckled on Shuichi's tongue.

Shuichi disengaged his tongue and he and Hiro continued normal, yet steamy kissing. As Hiro made love to Shuichi's mouth, Shuichi maneuvered his hands down onto Hiro's stomach and pushed them further and further down until he reached Hiro's pants. Slowly, Shuichi begin to unbutton Hiro's jeans; he fiddled with the button for some time before he got the metal clasp to release from the opening on the other side. Shuichi then went to work on the zipper...he gently pulled the zipper down, trying not to irritate Hiro's sensitive area. But being gentle with the zipper was no easy task - Hiro's jeans had been tight upon his young body before, but now that he was fully erect, they had become much tighter, and Shuichi was having trouble getting the zipper to go down slowly. Hiro realized Shuichi was struggling and he broke the kiss and asked...

"Do you want these off, Shu?", he said with a smile.

Shuichi nodded naively; Hiro stood up and took his jeans off, revealing a pair of bright red boxers with the accompaniment of a massive erection. Hiro stretched out his arms, which allowed Shuichi to take in his whole upper body...Hiro looked so perfect and beautiful. Shuichi wanted him. Hiro crrawled back to Shuichi and looked down at the boy's groin...Shuichi was sporting a rather obvious hardon. Hiro tucked his fingers under the elastic on Shuichi's windpants and gently peeled them off his body. Shuichi, however, immediately placed his hands over his genitals. Hiro looked at him questioningly.

"What are you doing that for?"

"I...I'm not wearing underwear...", Shuichi said and blushed.

"It's okay, Shu...I would have gotten you to that point eventually anyway, don't you think?", Hiro said with a wink.

Shuichi smiled. Hiro began to kiss him again, and Shuichi eventually stopped trying to guard his exposed body and placed his hands on Hiro's back. Hiro kissed Shuichi for only a short time before he began to kiss the side of Shuichi's neck. Hiro kissed right under the jawbone, and Shuichi let out a tiny whimper of pleasure...but this tiny whimper made Hiro even more aroused. Hiro kissed his way down to Shuichi's chest and then took one of Shuichi's nipples into his mouth and sucked on it gently. Shuichi mewled happily as Hiro stimulated this sensitive part of him, and eventually Hiro gave equal treatment to the other nipple. Shuichi exhaled in delight - he found the experience he just had to be very envigorating, and very sexy. But Hiro was not about to stop...he kissed down even further; he could feel Shuichi's hardon poking into his throat. Shuichi began to get a bit anxious as Hiro neared his precious place. Finally, Hiro reached his destination; he took a good look at Shuichi's member and, wrapping his hand around it, began to stroke it slowly. Shuchi closed his eyes and pressed his head back into his pillow; as Hiro stroked faster, Shuichi got lost further and further in ecstacy. Soon, his jaw was hanging slightly ajar as Hiro's strokes gained momentum. Hiro gave one final stroke before leaning in closer...Shuichi felt Hiro's warm breath against his genitals and he shuddered. Hiro looked up at Shuichi and said, "I hope you'll enjoy this as much as I will, Shu..."

And with that, Hiro took all of Shuichi into his mouth. Shuichi cried out from the surprise and his legs almost immediately began to squeeze shut, but Hiro would not allow it. He placed his hands gently against Shuichi's thighs, holding them open. His mouth moved faster over Shuichi's aching member, and Shuichi began to buck his hips into Hiro's face, trying to get deeper inside. Soon, he began to become even more aroused as his body began to fill greatly with tension.

"Hiro...I...I...I'm about to...about to...", Shuichi panted desperately.

"Shhh", Hiro said, releasing Shuichi for the moment, "I know what you're about to do...lay back and enjoy it, my love...", and with that, Hiro gave it his all. He moved his mouth as fast as he could while delivering the most powerful suction possible through the human mouth. Shuichi cried out and began to arch up his back. His hands clutched the sheets tightly as he felt himself nearing his release.

"Oh Hiro...oh, oh I'm almost there...ahhhh, Hiro, I'm about to! I'm about to...oh, HIRO!", Shuichi screeched out Hiro's name one final time as he hit orgasm. He spilled his seed in Hiro's mouth, and the young man swallowed every last drop of Shuichi's sweet honey. Shuichi collapsed against the bed, panting and sweating. His member was swollen and sensitive and needed time to heal. Hiro waited until Shuichi got his breath back before saying, "Are you too tired for more, Shu?"

Shuichi looked up at Hiro with passion in his eyes and said happily, "I'm never too tired for you, Hiro."

"Tell me if and when you'd like to continue."

Shuichi shot up and kissed Hiro deeply and passionately, "How about now?"

And with that, Shuichi guided Hiro's hand down to his genitals to show him that he had another hardon that was aching just for him. Hiro smiled and crawled over Shuichi and went into the drawer of his night stand. He rummaged around in the collection of various random items stored there until he finalyl emerged with two small pieces...one a tube of a lotion-type fluid, and the other a relatively small plastic square. Hiro tossed the tube onto the bed next to him and held up the square to Shuichi.

"Would you feel better if I used this too?"

"No...no condom, Hiro...I know you don't have any kind of diseases. And besides...I want to feel the ireal/i you."

Hiro nodded and placed the condom on his night stand. He then squeezed some of the fluid out of the tube onto his finger. He placed his fingertip at Shuichi's entrance and said, "Are you ready?"

Shuichi nodded and Hiro began his gentle entry into the boy's body. Shuichi whimpered at first, feeling his body being entered. But when Shuichi began to relax, Hiro introduced a second finger; he used these two fingers until Shuichi could handle the feeling without tensing. Finally, Hiro lubricated a third finger and pressed all three digits into Shuichi's body, and Shuichi gasped from the force; it took Hiro longer the third time to get Shuichi accustomed to the feeling, but eventually he felt Shuichi was ready. Hiro looked down and realized that his boxers were still on; he hastily did away with them, fully exposing his body. He squeezed a generous amount of the lubricant into his hand and massaged it into his aching member; he moaned lightly at the feeling upon him. Sighing deeply, he neared Shuichi and put the young man's legs into the air, resting them atop his Hiro's shoulders. He placed his member against Shuichi and asked, "Ready?"

Shuichi nodded and inhaled deeply. Hiro pressed against Shuichi gently and managed to get just the tip of himself in; Shuichi hummed lightly. Hiro pressed a bit more and finally got himself partway inside. Shuichi whimpered as he felt his body respond to such penetration with pain. Hiro tried to go slower as he pushed the rest of himself in. Shuichi tensed, and Hiro wanted nothing more than to make violent love to his pink-haired uke...but he did not want to do what Eiri had done...he did not want to hurt Shuichi. His motions were slow, but gained momentum as Shuichi relaxed against him. Shuichi began to moan in pleasure rather than pain, and he began to stroke his own member.

"Mmm...can...you do it harder, Hiro?", Shuichi asked with ecstacy flooding his voice.

Hiro was surprised by this request, but he was happy to comply. He began to press into SHuichi harder and faster, making Shuichi scream. The entire room echoed of moans and pleasured screams as the two teenagers became one. Hiro felt his body tightening up inside...he knew he was close to his climax. He kept moving, going as fast as he could. As Hiro neared completion, Shuichi began to cry out.

"I...I love you, Hiro!"

Hiro responded, "I love you too, Shuichi..."

His sentence trailed off into a sharp moan. His breathing became extremely labored as he felt himself going over the edge.

"Oh Shuichi...mmm, ohhh...oh gods, Shuichi...uhnnn..."

Then, they both hit their climaxes at practically the same time...

"SHUICHI!"

"HIRO!"

Both boys screamed each others' names as they felt their body's tension pouring out. Shuichi splashed his seed all over Hiro's sweaty abdomen, and Hiro released his precious fluid deep within Shuichi's writhing body. Hiro looked deep into Shuichi's eyes, panting desperately. He gently withdrew himself and did not even bother to get back into his clothes...he collapsed on the bed, exhausted. Shuichi curled up with his seme and they fell asleep together, dreaming of their recently ended fantasy.

* * *

The next day, Shuichi awoke in the most pleasant mood he had ever been in...he felt so complete. Yet, what went on during the night just did not seem like it should have happened. Shuichi looked over at Hiro, who was still sound asleep. Shuichi smiled and then went to put his clothes back on. As he wandered down into the kitchen, he began looking for something to drink besides water. That's when the telephone rang. Shuichi figured it would not be for him, so he let the answering machine record it. Shuichi heard:

"Shuichi? Are you there? It's Tohma...if you're there, please pick up. I need to talk to you, it's about Eiri..."

Shuichi practically flew to the phone, "Tohma? I'm here, I'm here! What's wrong with Yuki?", he asked nervously.

Tohma's voice cracked - Shuichi knew he was going to cry, "Eiri's body is failing, even on the life support. He...he's not going to live more than a few days now..."

Tohma broke down into tears. Shuichi could not believe what he was hearing, "Are you at the hospital?"

"Yes."

"I'll be there as soon as I can.", and with that, he hung up the phone.

As he began to pull on his shoes and coat, Hiro came down, clad in yesterday's clothes. He knew where Shuichi had to go...

"C'mon, I'll give you a ride."

* * *

**_Author's Note:_ I'm so bad...but I just felt the urge to include an erotic scene in the story. I apologize for the cliffhanger, but the truth about Eiri's bodily failure will be made clear in the next chapter. Until then, you may wonder just what will become of the dying novelist. Once again, thank you all for your wonderful comments...you all make me feel so special :3**


	18. Chapter 17: What About Me?

_Hehe, that last chapter was quite a lemony one, was it not? Ah well, I just felt the need to include a romantic scene. Anyway, I'm happy to say that this story is finally complete! I will be posting two more chapters after this one; the tragic saga of Eiri's life and the secret love of Hiro and Shuichi will be brought to an end. But this is only the third to last chapter, so don't worry...more reading ensues! Here's Chapter 17..._

* * *

**Chapter 17: "What About Me?"**

Shuichi boarded Hiro's motorcycle, strapped on a helmet, and held onto Hiro's waist for dear life; Hiro was concerned for Eiri, but thoughts of the previous night's activities filled his mind. He kept asking himself question upon question about his and Shuichi's lovemaking.

"Did Shuichi allow me to go all the way with him because he loves me? Or was it just lust? Was it for sex and nothing else?"

These questions ravaged Hiro's mind; he would not care too much if what went on was, indeed, solely for the sake of sex; Hiro knew that when people are upset or stressed, they do some very unusual things. But Hiro promised that he would not treat or speak to Shuichi any differently because of what went on between the two of them. Hiro became a little more relaxed after reaching that conclusion just as they were pulling into the hospital parking lot. Shuichi didn't even wait until the motorcycle stopped moving - he jumped off, put his helmet down on the bike seat, and ran like a shot out of hell intho the hospital; Tatsuha was waiting at the door for him and shouted out his name.

"Shuichi!", Tatsuha said loudly, waving his hands so Shuichi would see him.

Shuichi ran frantically to the dark-haired young man. "Tatsuha! Where's Yuki? What's wrong with him? Is he okay? Will he live? Tell me, please tell me!"

Tatsuha sighed heavily; a dejected and tearful expression stretches across his usually smiling face. He looked at his feet as he spoke, "His body is shutting down."

"What? Isn't he on life support?", Shuichi asked, perplexed.

"Yeah he's on it, but it's not helping him anymore...his heart is so far wasted that he won't last much longer..."

A single tear slid down Tatsuha's face and pelted the floor. He let out a muffled, tearful choke before looking up; his tear-stained face told Shuichi everything. Tatsuha, though a little more sensitive than his older brother, was not prone to showing such emotion. Shuichi knew that, if Tatsuha was showing such tears, then Eiri's condition must be serious.

"Can...can I see him?" Shuichi asked, on the verge of tears.

"I don't think you want to, Shuichi...he looks awful."

"Please...I need to see him...it...it might be the last time I'll ever get to see him..."

Shuichi began to break down; his voice cracked and tears flooded his eyes and down his silky cheeks. Tatsuha hugged Shuichi in his sadness and led him up to where Eiri was being kept. They boarded the elevator and went down one floor. When they reached a door about halfway down the hallway, Tatsuha knocked and was greeted by a man in a white coat. He let in both Tatsuha and Shuichi.

"I'm glad you made it, Shuichi.", Tohma replied with a satisfied, yet tearful look on his face.

"What's going on with Yuki?", Shuichi asked unto no one particular person.

"Mr. Yuki is dying...not even the life support machines are keeping his body functioning. He desperately needs a heart within the next seventy-two hours, otherwise...he won't survive."

"But...there is no heart available for him!"

The doctor sighed, "I...I know."

Shuichi began to sob...he held in his cries, but not his tears; tears were a force he could not withhold. The doctor took a look at Eiri, who was motionless on a bed with tubes and IVs attached to him. "I'm terribly sorry...but there is nothing more we can do."

Mika turned to her husband and cried in his arms; Tohma held her close and cried with her. Tatsuha was crying, but he tried to hide it. Shuichi's mind was racing..."He needs a heart, but there isn't one available. I would never want to wish death upon someone else just so Yuki could live, but where will he find a heart? How will he live?"

That is when an idea came to Shuichi. He took a long, deep breath before he spoke..."Wait", he said calmly, "...can...can you give him my heart?"

Everyone turned and looked right at Shuichi; they could not believe what they had just heard. Tohma was absolutely speechless. "W...what did you say, Shuichi?"

"You heard me...I want Yuki to have my heart. I want him to live, even if it is only for a year.", Shuichi's expression was as hard and stern as that of a statue. The doctor was amazed by Shuichi offer.

"That's the most incredible request I've ever heard...you would be willing to give your life for this man, even when the operation may not even succeed?"

Shuichi nodded, "That's right."

"Young man...I find it amazing that you would want to do that for Mr. Yuki...but you are much smaller than he is. Your heart would not be strong enough to support Mr. Yuki's life."

Shuichi could only look down at the floor and continue crying. The doctor apologized again sadly and everyone else lost all hope of ever seeing Eiri open his eyes again. That's when a voice called out from the back of the room.

"What about me?"

Everyone turned and looked back - Hiro was standing against the door with his arms at his sides, a tearful and austere expression drawn over his face. "Can you use my heart?"

Shuichi ran to Hiro, "No, Hiro! Don't even consider it...please, I can't lose you too! I can't bear to lose two people in my life that I care about!"

Hiro looked Shuichi in the eyes, "So you're saying that Eiri is really going to die?"

Shuichi's eyes widened...he HAD implied that he believed Eiri would perish, "N...no, but there's a good chance that -"

"That's enough. Shuichi, I'll be straightforward with you...I'll never forgive him for what he did to you...he hurt you like no one should ever be hurt. I refuse to let him hurt you again by having him lose his life. Shuichi...you need Eiri in your life...because you love him. I want you to be happy again."

Shuichi could not find the words to say...the doctor, even more amazed by Hiro's request, approached the brown-haired man and said, "You...look like you are the proper size. Young man, are you sure this is what you want to do?"

"Yes...Eiri deserves his life back."

Everyone looked at Hiro, but he did not return the glances. The doctor spoke to Hiro once again, "If it's what you truly want, then we must run some tests to be sure you share Mr. Yuki's blood type and also see if you have any kind of blood disorders."

Hiro nodded and the doctor went out the door for the moment. Everyone stared at Hiro...Hiro's mind was too clouded over to even acknowledge them. He just offered to die for someone else that he cares nothing about...but was he really going to give his life for Eiri? No...he was giving up his very life for Shuichi and the sake of his happiness. He was doing it because he loves Shuichi; he always had said that he would give his life for Shuichi, so, in a way, he was indeed living up to his promise. But he could not fully concentrate...he tried to fathom the fact that he would die...his life would end...no more music, no more friends, no more Shuichi...everything would be gone. And how would Shuichi react to his parting? Would he ever heal? What if the operation was not a success, and Eiri died on the operating table, or his body rejected the heart and he died within a short time following surgery? There were too many things that could go wrong, but Hiro was willing to bet it all on this single gamble.

* * *

Shuichi, Tohma, Mika, and Tatsuha were all in the waiting room, waiting for Hiro to return. Everyone was still in shock from Hiro's decision to give his heart to Eiri. Shuichi was so confused about the entire situation that he did not know what to think.

"If Hiro gives his heart to Yuki, then Yuki might like again, and I'd have him back in my life...but then I wouldn't have Hiro any longer. Yuki may be my lover, but Hiro is my best friend; I've known Hiro all my life, and I've known Yuki only a short time. But can I really stop Hiro from making his decision? What if the operation isn't successful and Yuki dies in surgery? Or what if his body won't take the heart? I'd lose Hiro and Yuki forever...what can I possibly do? There's no way for me to have both of them in my life at this point. I need them both, but I can't say I want one in my life more than the other...I want them both in my life equally. After what happened last night with Hiro, I am starting to wonder if maybe...I love him too..."

Shuichi's thoughts were cut short when Hiro entered the room. Shuichi got up and ran to him, "What'd they say? What'd they say?"

Hiro's voice seemed emotionless and broken, "They said I'd be able to donate. My blood type matches Eiri's and I have nothing wrong with me."

Shuichi did not know whether he should be happy or upset, and neither did anyone else there. Tohma took a good, long look at Hiro...it was obvious that he had not accepted the fact that he would be losing his life. He was not ready to go yet, but now that Eiri's family knew his heart would be a perfect match, he knew he could not back out. The doctor came back in and pulled Hiro to the side and began to speak quietly to him.

"Do you really want to do this?"

"Yes.", Hiro said in an anxious voice.

"Would you like to contact your family and tell them about this?"

Hiro thought about that...his family? They would show up to mock him and try to drag him from the hospital by force if they ever knew that he was going to donate his heart for someone that was not even a family member - was not even someone he cared for. "No...I'll just have someone tell them that I was in an accident and I chose to be an organ donor. It's for the best that they don't know my real intentions."

The doctor was silent for a moment, but then asked, "Mr. Yuki is failing faster by the minute...seventy-two hours of life is becoming a fantasy at this point. If we're going to get him a heart, we'll need to do it very soon, tomorrow at the latest."

"Okay...I'll be here tomorrow. Hopefully I won't lose my nerve.", Hiro tried to laugh and make everything seem like nothing, but he just could not find it within him to even smile.

The doctor left the room without saying anything. Hiro went to Shuichi and company and said in a cold voice, "I'm going to go home...but I'll be here tomorrow for the surgery." And with those words, he left. Shuichi pursued the brunette to the parking lot.

"Hiro! Wait!", Shuichi called out.

Hiro looked up as Shuichi ran to him. "Need a ride home?"

"No...Hiro, I just...Hiro, are you sure you want to do this? Hiro, this is your life!"

"It's also Eiri's life...he needs to live it. I want you two to be together again."

Shuichi looked down, "But Hiro...I...I can't make it without you."

Hiro sighed and sat down on his motorcycle, but before starting the engine, he turned to Shuichi, "Shuichi...I...I don't really want to spend my last night alone. Would you stay with me tonight?"

"Of course."

* * *

**_Author's Note: Hiro is making quite a gamble here, is he not? Will his selfless sacrifice be the gift that brings Eiri back from the edge of Death? Will he even follow through with it, or will he change his mind within the next twenty-four hours? Find out in Chapter 18. _**

**_Also, I would like to extend my thanks to everyone who has replied; thank you for your support throughout each chapter. Your wonderful comments were the force that kept me working on this tale until it was finished._**


	19. Chapter 18: Sacrifices

_Yep, I'm posting each chapter consecutively. Hiro's making quite the big decision - he is giving his very life just for Eiri, and he doesn't even like Eiri! But he's doing it for Shuichi...now THAT is true love :3 Anyway, there's another warning on this chapter: it contains even more **sexual scenes** and a little tiny itty bitty usage of **cursing**, so if you are at all offended by this kind of material, please do not read it. Now that I've made that clear, you may proceed to Chapter 18..._

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**Chapter 18: Sacrifices**

Shuichi hopped on the bike with Hiro and they went to his apartment. They went the entire ride without speaking, and all the way up to the apartment without speaking. Once in the house, Hiro asked, "How about we hang out like old times?"

Shuichi nodded; they began their final night together by watching their favorite movie, followed by a massive pillow fight. At one point, both young men were laughing. In the early morning hours, neither one of them were tired, but at one point they came to rest on Hiro's bed, lying side by side.

"Shuichi...I want to thank you for making tonight so much fun - it helped take my mind off everything."

"Same for me...I've had fun."

Shuichi turned to Hiro and looked in his eyes; there was a beautiful glow to them, a glow that he had never seen before. It was bewitching...Hiro returned the glance happily. Shuichi could not take his eyes off the young guitarist...there was a presence about him that entranced the pink-haired boy. Moments later, Hiro got up on his hands and knees and crawled closer to Shuichi, until he was straddling the boy's hips. Without saying a word, he leaned in close and passionately kissed Shuichi.

When the kiss finally reached an end, Hiro looked deep into Shuichi's eyes and said, "I want to feel you again, Shuichi...one last time."

His voice was so full of love and sadness - Shuichi was not expecting this to happen, but he still wanted it. "Oh, Hiro...", Shuichi said in a desperate voice and pulled Hiro into a deep kiss. Within minutes, the two young men were completely naked on Hiro's bed; Hiro had pulled Shuichi on top of him, and Shuichi was savoring the feel of Hiro's warm skin upon his own. It made him go crazy inside; his hormones raged like never before and he wanted Hiro so badly...he wanted to feel Hiro again. Without warning, he broke the passionate kiss they were enveloped in and he got up on his hands and feet so he was squatting in an awkward manner; Hiro was perplexed by Shuichi's actions. Shuichi spit into his palm and rubbed it up and down Hiro's shaft, and without warning he penetrated his own body with Hiro's member. Hiro moaned loudly, to the point of screaming, as he felt Shuichi's tight inner body. Shuichi cried out in pain upon entry, but the pain disappeared almost instantly; he wanted Hiro so much that pain was not even an issue. He began gliding up and down over Hiro's member, moaning and calling out Hiro's name. But Hiro was just not comfortable in the position he was in...he flipped Shuichi over onto his hands and knees without ever withdrawing from the boy's body. In their new position, Hiro thrust as hard as he could into Shuichi's body, making them both writhe with pleasure.

Hiro felt his orgasm wash over him and he pulled himself free of Shuichi's body. Shuichi flipped onto his back, still under Hiro, and asked, "Tired now?"

Hiro smiled sensually, "Hardly."

Shuichi smiled back, "Good..." He went to Hiro's night stand and rummaged around for something. He pulled out the lubricant and waved it before Hiro. "I want to know what you feel like, Hiro..."

Hiro was surprised by Shuichi's request, but he was happy to comply. He lay down on his bed as Shuichi returned to him. Shuichi lubricated his fingers and pushed them into Hiro one by one, until he could feel that Hiro was prepared. "Hiro, have you ever had a guy do this to you?"

"Nope...you'll be my first."

Shuichi smiled and lathered a generous amount of the lubricant on his member. He mimicked Hiro's actions from the previous night and put Hiro's legs up in the air; Hiro spread them apart to allow Shuichi more access. Shuichi was aroused beyond belief, but he was nervous because he had never been the seme...when he was with Eiri, he would always be the uke. He only hoped he did everything right. Taking a deep breath, he held his shaft in his hand and placed it against Hiro's body.

"Ready?"

Hiro wasted no time..."Yes! Fuck me, Shuichi!"

Shuichi was surprised by Hiro's intense reaction, but it also made his body surge with animalistic lust...he thrust full length into Hiro's body, and Hiro screamed out in pure ecstacy. Shuichi took this as a signal to keep going, harder if possible. He reamed Hiro's body as hard as he could, and Hiro loved every second of it. He began to stroke his own member, but Shuichi pushed his hand away and took over, stroking in sync with his thrusts. Hiro felt like he was in paradise as the world seemed to stop for him. He felt another orgasm coming, but he did not need to say anything - Shuichi knew by the sounds he was making that he was getting close. Shuichi was also nearing completion.

"Ohhh, Shuichi...uhnnn...oh, gods...I'm almost there, I'm - AAAAAHHHH!"

Hiro finally hit his climax...as his seed shot violently onto Shuichi, his back arched up off the bed at a sharp angle; his eyes rolled back in his head and his mouth shot open as wide as it could go. At the same time, his entire body tensed up tremendously...Shuichi felt this tension and it made him orgasm like never before.

"HIRO!"

At the end, both boys were panting uncontrollably. Shuichi looked into Hiro's gorgeous brown eyes and ran his fingers through the silken brown locks.

"I love you, Hiro."

Hiro stared at Shuichi for the longest time before finally embracing him in a tight hug and saying, "I love you too, Shuichi" as a tear streamed down his face. The two boys made love once more that evening before actually going to sleep. Shuichi wanted to make Hiro's final night on the earth a memorable one.

* * *

The next day, Hiro and Shuichi arrived at the hospital...Hiro was not quite as nervous as he had been the day before. Shuichi knew why...he had the best time of his life with the pink-haired singer. Everyone who had been at the hospital the previous evening was there again, waiting for him. The doctor approached him.

"Are you ready?"

Hiro nodded, "Yes."

The doctor led Hiro into the operating room. The doctor led Hiro to one of the two tables and asked him to lay down. He removed a vial of pink fluid from a nearby storage unit and began to fidget with the plastic cover. Hiro looked over and saw a fairly large needle on the counter top and cringed. The doctor headed for the syringe with the now open bottle when he saw something...Shuichi had his face pressed up against the glass on the door and was looking in with one of the most depressing expressions the doctor had ever seen. He walked to Hiro and said, "I think your friend needs to see you, Hiro."

Hiro looked up to see Shuichi, his tears now staining the glass. He motioned for Shuichi to come in, and Shuichi burst through the doors. "Hiro! Please, please don't do this!"

"Shuichi, I've already made up my mind what I want to do...", Hiro said in a calm voice.

"Hiro, how can you possibly be so calm at a time like this!", Shuichi cried.

Hiro sat up and looked into Shuichi's eyes, "Because...you took the one fear I've had my entire life and you cured it. I feel more secure accepting this."

"What do you mean? What fear?", Shuichi said, sniffling.

"I was always afraid...that I would die without ever finding anyone who would truly love me. And I found them. Shuichi, please tell me...is what you said to me last night the truth? Do you...truly love me? Please...I need to know."

Shuichi did not hesitate to answer, "It was the truth, Hiro...I do love you."

"Thank you...for loving me, and for being there for me. You're my best friend and the one I love...I feel as if I may die happily now. Shuichi, I want you to have Eiri back...please, I want to do this for you. Please, consider it a symbol of my love for you."

Shuichi was at a loss for words. The doctor approached Hiro with the filled syringe. He looked down at Hiro and said, "I'll ask you one final time, young man...are you sure you want to do this? This is your only chance to back out."

Hiro looked at Shuichi...somehow, Shuichi looked as if he was accepting Hiro's decision. Hiro looked up at the doctor and said, "Yes...I'm ready."

Hiro lay down on the gurney and tried to relax...the doctor pressed the needle into his arm, making him wince. He injected the pink fluid slowly into his body and gently pulled the needle free. Hiro felt nothing, but he immediately turned to Shuichi and said, "Shuichi...please, stay here with me..."

Shuichi knelt down and took Hiro's hand is his own, "I'll never leave you, Hiro...never..."

Hiro began to lose consciousness rather quickly as his eyelids began to flutter; he struggled to keep them open, but it was no use...his life was slowly leaving him. He began to breathe a little harder; obviously the fear had struck him now after the euthanasia had been put into him. He looked at Shuichi with fear and emotion in his eyes and said in a voice barely above a whisper, "I...I love you Shuichi..."

With those words, he breathed his final breath and finally closed his eyes forever...he was gone. Shuichi's eyes welled up with tears, heavy as gold, and he held Hiro's hand and said through his tears, "I love you too, Hiro...". He wept over Hiro for nearly an hour before he finally got up and left. Once out of the operating room, Tohma approached Shuichi to comfort him, but Shuichi felt his sadness take him over and he dashed out of the hospital and ran all the way to Eiri's apartment, where he threw himself on Eiri's bed and wept uncontrollably for his friend. He choked and gasped on his own tears and began to hyperventilate...only when he felt like he had control, he began to choke again. He remained like this for two days, until Tohma finally came to Eiri's apartment looking for the young singer.

* * *

When Tohma arrived, he found Shuichi curled up on Eiri's bed, laying in a soaked pillow with his entire head wet with tears. Shuichi looked awful, but he had cried himself to sleep. Tohma sat down on the bed and gently roused Shuichi. Shuichi awoke to see the blonde man, but said nothing.

"Are you okay?", Tohma asked.

"My best friend just died...what do you think?", Shuichi replied in a depressing tone.

Then Shuichi saw the look on Tohma's face...it was not of sadness or despair. It was his normal face...was Eiri okay? Shuichi looked at Tohma desperately and said, "What about Yuki? Is he okay! What happened? Did he have the operation? Did he live!"

Tohma tried to calm Shuichi down before telling him, "Shuichi..."

Shuichi felt his heart sink; he had a feeling that, by the tone on Tohma's voice that something awful had happened.

Tohma continued, "...Eiri is fine. He's awake already."

Shuichi's eyes went wide as saucers, "He...he is? He's okay?"

"Yes...he just woke up today...and he was asking for you. I came looking for you, and I figured you might be here."

"Please, take me to him...", Shuichi said through sobs.

Tohma nodded and led Shuichi outside; they climbed into Tohma's car and drove to the hospital. Shuichi was so excited, yet nervous...it was as if Eiri had come back from the dead. They finalyl reached Eiri's room; inside, Tatsuha and Mika were beside his bed, talking. Shuichi looked curiously at them, and then he heard Eiri's voice...the angelic voice that he had not heard for so long.

"I'm back...", Tohma said, "...and I've got someone here for Eiri."

Shuichi walked up to the bed, between Tatsuha and Mika, and he saw something that he feared he may never see again...he saw Eiri, sitting upright with his gorgeous golden eyes open, staring back at him. Shuichi was not sure what to think at first, but then Eiri spoke to him...the first words he had heard from Eiri in a very long time.

"I missed you, brat.", he said in his normal voice, slightly quieter than usual, as he was still recuperating from his surgery.

Shuichi smiled and burst into tears and hugged Eiri, "Yuki!"

Eiri responded and wrapped his arms around Shuichi...he had also missed the pink-haired boy. Eiri smiled as he held his lover in his arms and they remained withint the other's embrace for the longest time before Shuichi finally let go.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again.", Shuichi said through his tears.

"And I didn't think I'd ever see you again.", Eiri replied with a smile.

Shuichi turned to Tohma and company, "When can he go home?"

Tohma smiled, "Because of his fast recovery...he comes home tomorrow."

Shuichi was all smiles and he hugged Eiri again; Eiri's family was overjoyed to see him alive once again, but they were also happy to see Shuichi and him together again. Tohma knew he was wrong about Shuichi...he was not a burden to his brother-in-law...Shuichi is the driving force that kept Eiri going, whether or not Eiri chose to admit it. Shuichi felt complete once again as he gave Eiri a warm, loving kiss; he never stopped crying out of happiness from the time he walked into the room to the time he went home with Eiri the next day. Eiri learned at home that Hiro had given his life sohe could have a heart, and Eiri could not believe that a boy who hated him andstruck him at one point could possibly do something like that. Shuichi knew that he will never completely lose Hiro...Shuichi would never forget Hiro or the brave sacrifice he made, but Eiri would forever carry within him a part of the young man. Both Hiro and Eiri had helped to heal Shuichi wounds through their love and compassion, and Hiro would continue to do so even in the afterlife as he would forever watch over his strawberry-haired angel.

**THE END**

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_Author's Note: Now don't venture too far away...there is still the epilogue, and it has a few surprises for you readers also! I wanted the ending to this story to be a sort of surprise, but a few reviewers had already guessed it...hmm, have I become that transparent? Haha, it's alright. I admit that, as I was typing the part where Hiro was being euthanized, tears threatened to cloud my vision. I just kept thinking of how I might feel if my best friend or my lover was going through that same thing...it almost hurt to write it. Bah, I'm such a wuss. Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed reading this tale of angst and romance; thank you for reading and commenting!_


	20. Epilogue

_I don't consider this part an official "chapter" - just like the prologue, it's just here to reinforce certain things. But in this part of the tale, you will find out what happens to Shuichi and Eiri in their future now that Eiri has recuperated._

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**EPILOGUE**

Eiri's doctors found it to be amazing, yet intriguing that Eiri had healed so rapidly following surgery. He was healthy, despite his being immobile for so long, and soon he was back to writing novels. Shuichi stayed with him and became a bit more mature, trying not to annoy his lover as much. But Eiri admitted that he missed Shuichi's loud, childish antics. Five months after his surgery, Eiri proposed to Shuichi at one of Shuichi's concerts...onstage. Shuichi happily accepted and they were wed. During the next concert, Shuichi pulled Eiri onstage and had him sing a duet with him...more duets followed this initial one when fans began to rave about the couple, wanting to see more.

* * *

Bad Luck did not perform for a couple of months as the band tried to locate a new guitarist, but Shuichi decided that no one could ever replace Hiro, so they did without a guitarist. Shuichi and Suguru paid tribute to their departed friend and bandmate at the beginning of every one of their concerts. Many people wrote to them, asking to play guitar for them, but they refused...Hiro was and always would be the only guitarist of Bad Luck. Shuichi's newly reawakened love with Eiri gave him incredible inspiration for his music and it boosted the band to the top of the charts...surpassing Nittle Grasper.

* * *

Shuichi and Eiri regularly visited Hiro's grave, and Eiri always thanked the young man for making the sacrifice he had. In a way, Eiri felt as though he did not deserve such a chance because it was at the cost of someone else's life, but he knew that he would never be able to thank Hiro enough for what he had done. In the beginning of his newest novel, he wrote the following: "In memory of Hiroshi Nakano, the selfless angel who gave me a second chance at life. I will remember you always." Unlike the novel that was rejected - the rejection that began the entire situation - this new novel was a tremendous success; stores were sold out as soon as they were stocked. Eiri thanked Hiro time and time again for letting him write at _least _one more novel.

* * *

While on tour in the northern part of the country, Shuichi, who was twenty-five at the time, received a call from Tohma...Eiri has passed away. He had survived on the donor heart for six years, which defied medical boundaries; doctors considered it a medical miracle. Shuichi was grief-stricken, but was accepting of it in some way...after a year had gone by, he worried each day if it would be Eiri's last, but the day finally came. Eiri had passed on peacefully in his sleep - he was not suffering or in any pain at the time of his death. Shuichi returned home in the middle of his tour to attend the funeral. Shuichi became an emotional wreck following Eiri's death...he had no one to talk to. Both his best friend and his lover were dead and he began to develop suicidal tendencies. But he soon found counsel and comfort within another...someone who wanted to be there for the young singer.

That someone was none other that Ryuichi Sakuma. Ryuichi did his best to help Shuichi through the tough time in his life. After Eiri's death, Bad Luck broke up...but Ryuichi's influence prompted Shuichi to go solo, and he became a superstar once more. He sang of his love for Eiri and Hiro equally, and Ryuichi even showed up to sing with Shuichi. Soon, the two young men became close friends, almost like brothers, and were always there for one another. On some occasions, Shuichi performed with Nittle Grasper at their concerts.

But no matter where Shuichi went in life, who he met, or what he did...he would never forget the two people in his life whom he loved so dearly.

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**_Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it!_**


	21. Chapter 19: Void in my Heart

_Bet you guys thought the Epilogue was the end, didn't you? Well, okay I thought that too...I have a feeling, though, that this will be the last chapter. This takes place six months after Eiri's death...weird things happen, and Shuichi ends up seeing something - or someONE - he didn't think he would ever see again. A lot of this si Shuichi ranting about how much his life sucks, but it gets better._

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**Chapter 19: Void in my Heart**

* * *

Six months ago, my world fell apart; my husband of six years and lover of many more passed away. He had lived and breathed for those six years on a transplanted heart, which was far beyond what his life expectancy should have been. The heart that he held within his body was the heart of my best friend, who gave his very life so my lover could live, even if it was for a short time. Somehow, I expected my lover to pass on with each new day - I had this feeling that he'd be gone one day, but he always proved me wrong - for six years he proved me wrong. But he had passed on while I was out of the country; I had been on tour, and I was reluctant to leave Yuki behind, but he reassured me that he would be fine...he said he would be there waiting for me when I came back. I believed him...but it wasn't my Yuki who betrayed my trust - it was fate that has hurt me so. Yuki cheated death on more than one occasion, but he couldn't escape it again. It doesn't change the fact that I miss him; I lost a big piece of my heart and myself when I lost Yuki. Now, I am without anyone...not Hiro, not Yuki. I'm alone...people try to console me, but no amount of counsel can ever bring back the two most beloved people in my life. They are gone forever, and I'm damned to loneliness. Ryuichi has been doing his best to cheer me up with his childish antics, but nothing works. In fact, I have grown to be annoyed by him these past couple of months, and through my cold attitude, I believe I have driven him away. I didn't mean to treat him like I did, but it just happened, and I wish I could take it back.

My career is going downhill quickly because of all the things that have happened in my life...I lack enthusiasm to sing or write music; I used to create wonderful music when my Yuki was still alive, because he was my inspiration. But now, my music is dark and depressing, which is not the image that the recording label wants to promote. But I don't give a fuck what they want...I write what I'm feeling, and what I'm feeling is sadness. If they don't like it, they can go to hell. I hate working with only Suguru - he's so uptight that I can't make a single error without him telling me how incompetent I am; I swear, if he keeps that up, he's going to be seeing the world through one eye. Everyone just gets on my nerves at that damn place...I used to have Hiro to console me, and Yuki to hold me...now, I have no one to turn to when I feel my eyes begin to swell to the brim with tears. It hurts to have no one. I couldn't handle everyone's shit at NG, so I took a week off; I didn't ask Tohma for time off, I TOLD him I was taking off, end of discussion. I don't know what it is that I expect to happen during that time off, expect to cry and cut myself. Yeah, that's another habit I picked up since Yuki died - I like to cut myself quite often...not just my wrists, but everywhere. I no longer wear revealing clothing at my concerts because I have dozens of scars across my chest and abdomen. I don't care if people see my body in this way, but Tohma made me wear something to cover myself because scars are not what the public wanted to see. Asshole.

It's been three days since I told Tohma I'd be taking some time off, and I haven't even left my apartment...I stay inside all the time and I mope...I cry my eyes out. I've ben crying for months, and I thought perhaps I would reach a point where I could not cry anymore, but it hasn't happened yet. I still cry quite frequently; I have even broken down onstage in the middle of a song and cried my eyes out. The media was on that incident like flies on a carcass, asking why the world-renowned pop star Shuichi Shindo had cried like a child for no reason. I got a lot of shit from everyone at NG, especially K and Suguru. Oh I hate those two with a passion..."hate" is just not a powerful enough word to describe what I feel for those two. And so, here I am, venting to you about all the problems in my life...I know I make it seem as if my problems are more painful and dreadful than anyone else's...I know we all have problems in our lives, but when the two most important people in your life are dead and your career is going down the toilet, you'd want to bitch to someone about it too. Oh well, life is life and it seems immune to change at this point. I'll just have to accept the fact that my life sucks tremendously and that it will never improve.

* * *

My fifth day of freedom was spent crying, moping, and cutting myself...I've practically become addicted to that bloody practice of cleaving through my skin with my trusty razor. Pain is it, sure enough, but it helps to take my mind off my emotional pain - my incurable heartache. I can't remember the last time I smiled because it's been so, so long. Nothing makes me smile anymore. As I sit on the edge of my bed hating myself, I take a glance over at my night stand and I see my collection of photographs of happier times...when my dear Yuki was still alive. One picture showed me with my arms around his waist and him with his hands in his pockets; he looked so serious in that shot, which is no surprise. Trying to get him to smile was like pulling teeth. Another picture was of Yuki and I in an embrace - he had his arms around me and he was smiling...not some phony smile for the sake of the camera because Yuki would never do that. This was a capture of a genuine smile from my dear husband; smiles from him had seemed so rare, and though I never forgot all the times he smiled at me and with me, actually being able to see his smile before my eyes made me both happy and upset. I wanted my Yuki in my arms to hold him and proclaim my love to him - I would give anything, absolutely ANYTHING, to see him one last time, even if it was only for a few minutes. I desperately want to look into those gorgeous golden eyes and hear that deep, romantic voice that made my knees buckle. I want Yuki.

But I know damn fucking well that it'll never happen...Yuki is gone forever, and I have nothing left but the pictures of him. Dreadful images invade my mind - Yuki's family wanted his casket open at the funeral, and seeing him lying there dead made my heart break into thousands of shards. He was awfully pale, his hair was stringy and unkept, and he actually had on eyeliner...damn mortician had done far less than a bad job. I cried during the whole funeral, because whenever I would look up at Yuki lying dead in that casket, my eyes would overflow with tears...I know his family was in great pain seeing him there, but they're the ones who wanted the casket to be open. It hurt so much seeing the one I love, laying lifeless in a wooden box. I never used to think of death that much - driving past cemeteries was nothing of great significance to me until after Yuki's passing. The thought of Yuki being buried six feet into the earth and being eaten by the creatures that inhabit the soil made me cringe; I know his family considered cremation, but then refused, which made me happy. I would have gone into hysterics if I new they burned Yuki's body to mere ashes. At least he was able to be given an honorable burial with his body intact.

The day went by quickly...my week is flashing past before I can even realize it. Day six gave me some fair weather, and I decided to just go for a walk to try and clear my mind of everything - okay, so the city isn't exactly relaxing with the roar of traffic and the hundreds of people walking to unknown destinations all the time, but I can usually block out everything and escape into my own world of peace. I decided to just take a long walk and not try to get back home at any particular time; I left my cellular phone at the apartment so it wouldn't bother me on my walk. I didn't need to bother donning myself with sunglasses and a hat when I would go into public like I used to when rabid fangirls would try to run me down, strip me naked and rape me - because the band's popularity went down since I went into my depression, we have fewer fans who try to ambush us. But my hair is back to brown, so my conspicuous pink head is a thing of my jubilant past and not the way people target me. I blend in more now, and it serves as wonderful camouflage in the bustling city. The people around here can be very rude sometimes, pushing and shoving me to get me out of there way, as if there was a fire they were rushing to...and then, after all that rush, they wind up waiting for a crosswalk light to change for them, and they are no further than when they initiated the shoving. Stupid bastards...all in a hurry to get nowhere.

As I was walking down the sidewalk, my vision tended to drift from in front of me to my feet - to onlookers, I may seemed to have developed a new passion for my feet, but I was just thinking about so many things at once, and it was making me feel rather gloomy again. Of course, when you're looking at the ground, you're bound to walk into someone. I'm surprised I got as far as I did before I walked into someone; it was a soft impact, but still it was contact with another. I know some city people can be rude, but I didn't want to be one of them, so I apologized to the person and excused myself while never looking up. They said nothing, but walked off. I began to look up again, and only about two seconds after I looked up, I saw something that made my whole body shake madly inside and out. I saw a tall young man standing amongst the crowd - he had long reddish-brown hair and deathly pale skin; he was exceptionally thin for someone of his stature and he looked malnourished.

"No, it...it couldn't be...", I thought.

It wasn't possible...it was not a possibility that this person standing before me was who I thought it was...was it? I slowly approached them in the crowd and tried to get control of myself to speak in an understandable tone. When I was right behind them, I spoke up.

"...H...Hiro?", I asked sheepishly.

The person did nothing for a moment, but then they turned around, and the sight before me terrified me to the very core and branded images permanently into my memory. It was Hiro, without a doubt. But he didn't look like himself - he looked...dead. His skin looked borderline albino, his hair was in awful condition, and his lips were a bluish-grey color, looking almost like he had drowned. But the feature that struck the most intense fear into my heart was the sight of his eyes - no longer did he have those beautiful brown eyes that were so entrancing to me. They were replaced with pure black - even the _**scleras**_ of his eyes were black, and it made him look like some kind of alien or like his eyes had been cut out. I don't think I ever blinked during this whole meeting because it was unbearably traumatizing for me. Hiro never said a word to me, but he walked with the crowd across the street. I followed him, but he seemed to move at a strangely fast pace, and before I was even aware of it, he was out of sight. I dashed through the crowd, shoving people as I went; I didn't care at that point who I knocked over. All I know is that I saw Hiro and I had to find him.

* * *

I searched the city for the rest of the day and the night, and I found nothing. I asked people, and from the ones who didn't tell me to go fuck myself, I got no answers or even clues as to Hiro's whereabouts. Eventually, my legs grew very weak and I had to stop; I sat down against a building in a lone alley. As if I didn't have enough on my mind, I had to think about this. I still can't understand how I could have possibly seen Hiro, because as far as I know, Hiro had died six years ago after he gave his heart up for Yuki. Honestly, the alleged Hiro I saw in public today looked like a corpse...perhaps not one of six years, but he surely had an unhealthy appearance to him. But it was his eyes that struck the greatest terror in me; I'll never forget what his eyes looked like when I saw him...they were sunken deep into his face and I could easily see the eye sockets in his skull. He had bags under his eyes that were very dark, as if he hadn't slept in years. His eyes were lacking of visible pupils or irises - he had alien-looking eyes that were totally black, or maybe dark red. Although I couldn't see his "eyes", I knew very well he saw me, and I don't know why he said nothing.

But then I thought about it...how in the hell could Hiro be alive? He was dead - I watched the doctor euthanize him, and he was obviously there for his own funeral. How was this even a possibility of nature? I just had to find out if what I saw was truly real...I had to...

I ended up falling asleep in that alley, and I was beyond shocked that no drunken, horny men tried to take advantage of me while I was lying in the alley, totally vulnerable to any kind of assault. I woke up the next day feeling miserable, but it's not as if it would be the first morning I'd wake up feeling that way, nor would it be the last. I couldn't go back home yet - I had to go somewhere first. I had to go to the cemetery on the outskirts of the city to visit Hiro's grave; perhaps there I can find some answers. It was a damn long walk to the cemetery from where I was, but I'd manage; my legs felt a bit sore from my walk the previous day, but I knew I'd be fine. I got up and began my journey to the graveyard where my dearest friend was laid to rest six years ago.

My walk was well over ten miles, and it took me about 5 hours to get where I was going because I had to stop to rest so many times. But finally I made it; the graveyard was a sort of old-fashioned one, with a steel fence going all the way around, and a majestic yet simple threshold near the right side of the front gate. This graveyard was not the one where Hiro's family wanted him to be buried - the cemetery where he was supposed to be had run out of room, so he was put here. In a way, it's a good thing that he's here because the other cemetery has so many burials that it's impossible to get through it without walking on someone's grave, and I try my best not to do that because I find it disrespectful. As I wiped the sweat from my forehead, I slowly made my way through the graveyard; Hiro's grave was near the front and adjacent to the fence. I walked toward it slowly, and the site came into view. But what I saw was appalling, to say the least...beside Hiro's gravestone, a soiled shovel lay in the grass, and where once was flat, solid ground was a square hole in the earth, looking much deeper than six feet, in front of Hiro's tombstone. Anger, fear, sadness...all these emotions struck me at once as I stared dubiously at Hiro's empty grave. I peeked down into the earthen tomb and there was nothing in it. Hiro's coffin was gone...I inspected the shovel to see that the soil upon it was dry and encrusted - whoever used it last for digging purposes did so at least two or three days prior to my arrival. As I continued to examine the area curiously, I heard a rather dry, agitated voice come from behind me.

"What the hell are you doing?"

I turned to see a man in a very worn out t-shirt and dirty jeans. I asked him, "Are you the one who watches this graveyard?"

"No, but I was sent here to check out this particular site, and I want to know why you're snoopin' around here, kid."

I tried not to lash out at this man, "This is my friend's grave, and I'm just trying to find out why there's an empty space where a coffin should be."

Before the dusty middle-aged man could reply, another man quickly approached behind him. He looked to be in his late twenties and was wearing a white dress shirt and khaki pants. "Excuse me", he interrupted us, "Is everything okay over here?"

The man who saw me said, "Yeah, this kid says this is his friend's grave and he was lookin' around for clues...playin' detective here."

"That's enough...I want to speak to this young man for a moment, so report back to your superior and tell him your findings."

I felt a bit nervous about what this man wanted to say to me, but I remained calm. He waited until the middle-aged man was beyond hearing distance before he spoke, "What's your name, son?"

"...Shuichi.", I said with little feeling.

"And you say that this is your friend's grave?"

"Yes", I replied, "Hiro was my friend and my bandmate...do you know why his grave is empty?"

The man put a hand on my shoulder and explained, "Shuichi, I'm with the local police station and we're investigating his grave site because there's a bit of conspiracy going on."

"What do you mean, sir?", I asked reluctantly.

"I'll be perfectly blunt with you, Shuichi...Hiro was never buried there to begin with."

* * *

I stood in shock for a moment before I asked, "Excuse me? He was never buried there! But I was at his funeral six years ago - I saw the casket here, he had to be here!"

"Shuichi, I'll tell you the truth...a lot of people claimed to have seen Hiro walking around in public after he allegedly died. His family was informed, and then his brother thought he saw Hiro in the city one night, so his family insisted that Hiro's grave be opened. What we dug out of that grave was nine feet worth of soil, and there was nothing in it. We have no idea what's going on, but we're going to find out..."

"Is it possible that someone robbed his grave?", I asked shyly.

"Highly unlikely...we have yet to even come to any conclusions about where Hiro could be. That's why we're investigating."

I looked down at my feet - I suddenly wanted to cry; I had been visiting Hiro's grave and praying for him and talking to him, thinking he could somehow hear me spiritually, and he wasn't even buried there to begin with. I had been praying to an empty tomb for over six years. But I could get over that - what I wanted to know was where Hiro was if he was not in his grave. Where had he gone to? And why did I see him walking around in the city? I looked back at the investigator.

"I saw Hiro in the city yesterday...that's why I came here, to see if maybe I could get some answers.", I told him.

"You saw him too? Where in the city did you see him?"

"I don't know the street, sadly, but it was near the theater. He was in a crowd of people and after I accidentally bumped into another pedestrian, I looked up and saw Hiro almost directly in front of me."

"What did he look like?", the investigator asked; I noticed he was writing down what I was saying in a tablet.

"He looked extremely thin, like he was malnourished. His hair was a mess, which is not like Hiro because he loves his hair and takes good care of it. Umm..his lips were like a bluish color, but the rest of his skin was very very pale, almost like off-white. And his eyes...his eyes are totally black, like I couldn't distinguish where the irises were because everything in his eye sockets was black."

"Dear lord, it sounds horrifying...in case you're wondering why I'm writing down what you said, it's for evidence. You're one of about a dozen eye witnesses of Hiro's whereabouts in the past couple of months."

"Couple of months?", I belted out in a surprised tone.

"Yes...people allegedly began seeing Hiro only about eight weeks ago. Many more people have seen him, obviously, but they just didn't know who he was. His friends, family members, or fans are the ones who recognized him. As I said before, we're unsure what to think...whether someone is playing a very cruel, sick joke, or...or it's something that I don't think anyone can explain."

I was speechless; I took a long look at Hiro's empty grave, finding it difficult to swallow the fact that his grave had been empty all this time. I then turned back to the young investigator.

"Will you please contact me if you have any news or updates on this case?"

"Umm...well, we usually only divulge information to immediate family."

"Please", I pleaded, "He was my best friend...please can you contact me if anything comes up?"

My eyes were about to flood with tears; the young man noticed this and sighed, "Okay. I'll give you a call if we find anything. If anyone asks, I'll say you're a cousin. Just don't make me regret this, Shuichi."

I thanked the investigator and gave him my home phone number. Before I left, he told me that he was sorry that I was going through something so painful...yeah, sure he was. He can pretend all he wants, but I wasn't buying it. Nonetheless, he would contact me if anything new was found out about Hiro; I guess I should be thankful that he was willing to bend the rules a little bit for me.

* * *

Upon my return to work, I was asked by everyone if I enjoyed my time off, and I replied to each of them with a caustic "NO"; everyone cringed at my attitude and turned away quickly out of fear that I would rip their eyes out...everyone, that is, except one person. At the end of the day, he approached me and asked me what was wrong; the blonde man, though unfeeling at times, usually worried about me quite a bit because of how hard I was taking Yuki's death.

"Shuichi, are you okay?", Tohma asked.

"No, actually I'm not. That vacation made me feel even worse."

"I swear, I wish I could help you Shuichi. I know you don't believe me, but I do worry about you; I hate seeing you in such pain."

I sighed deeply, "I was taking a couple days ago in the city, to clear my mind...and...I...I saw Hiro."

Tohma's eyes went as wide as saucers, "Surely you must have been mistaken, Shuichi. Hiro is -"

I stopped him mid-sentence, "I know he's dead, Tohma...but I saw him walking in the city. It was him and I'm completely sure about it. He looked like he was a walking corpse, but it was him. And then I went to the graveyard and found his grave to be empty...it turns out that Hiro was never buried in that grave in the first place."

Tohma didn't know what to say - his mouth simply hung open. My voice began to crack and I fought back my tears, "Are you happy now? That was my wonderful vacation."

I turned away to hide my falling tears, but Tohma walked around me so he was facing me. He placed his fingers under my chin and lifted my face so he could look at me; his expression melted as he saw the tears rolling down my face. He gently brushed away my tears with his fingers and, without saying a word, he took me into his arms and hugged me. At that point, I couldn't stop myself, and I cried into his shirt; he didn't tell me it was going to be okay or try to shush me like some people do when they think they're being comforting; he simply held me and let me cry, and a shoulder on which to cry is the thing I think I needed the most at that time.

* * *

I went home that day a little earlier than usual - Tohma sympathized for me and understood the trauma I had went through. It was a Friday, so I had the weekend off, unless an emergency came up, which I really hoped one didn't. I wanted to sit home and brood again before going back to work for another five days. No longer was I mourning over and missing my dear Yuki, but I was thinking nonstop about Hiro. So many questions were rushing through my mind at lightspeed...how was Hiro still alive after being euthanized? Where had he been these past six years if he wasn't in his grave? How was he staying alive? Did he remember me?

It was a tremendous burden on my mind and I was getting a headache as I thought about it in greater depth. It was too much for me - I hadn't even gotten over Yuki's death and now I had to deal with this. That image of Hiro will forever be burned into my memory, and whenever I remember it, I can't help but cry. Remembering Hiro looking like he did that day was so frightening...I don't want that memory of him in my mind. I want the old memories I had of him, not this appalling new one. I stayed up all night and into the very early morning hours - long enough to watch the sun come up over the horizon. I began to succumb to exhaustion and I went to lay down. My bed was so cold and lonely without Yuki beside me - I never did get used to sleeping alone after Yuki had died. As I lay on my back, I stared up at the ceiling, trying to clear my mind a little bit. But before going to sleep, I had to complete my nightly ritual of praying. Hiro was the one who actually got me started on this...I remember he told me to pray for Yuki when we needed a heart for him, and ever since that day, I have prayed every night. I prayed for Hiro, and then I began to pray for Yuki too, as well as some friends and family members. Tonight, besides my prayer for Yuki, I also had a special prayer for Hiro...wherever he may be, I only could hope he heard me.

"Hiro...I don't know if you can hear me, or if you will listen...but I know I saw you that day. I don't care who thinks I've lost my mind, I know it was you. I can't believe I have been going to your grave and talking to you and crying over you for six years, only to find out that you were never there in the first place! Hiro, I don't know how you could possibly be alive, or where you have been these past years, but I beseech you, my friend...please give me a sign...let me know where you are and if you're okay. Please...please put my mind at ease..."

Tears rolled down my face as I begged my dear friend to tell me the truth. I cried myself to sleep that night, wondering just where my beloved friend was. I fell asleep being freezing because my heater was not working, but following my prayer, I felt a sudden warmth surround me. It was a wonderful warmth, and for some reason, I felt safe, and secure...I felt loved. I don't quite know why this happened, but all I know is I slept better that night than I have slept since I lost my dear Yuki. I woke up the next day feeling refreshed, and somewhat normal. As I arose to get out of bed, I noticed something odd...a plain white T-shirt was laying on my chest. The shirt was Hiro's, and I had kept it as a reminder of him - even after so many years it still seemed to have his wonderful scent about it. The strange thing is that this shirt was kept safely hidden in my closet - I never wore it, but I wanted to keep it as a reminder of my friend. I knew from this simple sign that Hiro had heard my prayers, and a tear of happiness ran down my cheek. He still cared.

* * *

**_Author's Note:_** _"scleras" refers to the white part of the human eye, in case anyone was wondering. As I said, I think this is probably going to be my final chapter in this story, unless I have another stroke of genius...but I doubt it. Hope you guys enjoyed the story, and thank you all ocne again for your support throughout each chapter - I appreciate everyone's critique very much._


	22. Chapter 20: All The Answers

By popular demand, this is the final chapter to _Healing His Wounds_. You will find the answer to Hiro's surreal post-death existence here, as well as another surprise. The answer is one you'd probably never expect. Also know there's a litle bit of recapping in the first couple of paragraphs. Please enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 20: All The Answers**

* * *

I felt strange. I didn't want to believe that my beloved friend Hiro had somehow come back from the dead and was walking among the city's inhabitants - it just wasn't possible, was it?! But then, when I woke up to find Hiro's shirt draped over my chest, I just didn't know what to think. Was Hiro trying to tell me something? Was he in the afterlife, attempting to communicate with me? If so, what was he trying to tell me? Or could this have been some kind of sick joke played on me? I was so distraught when my beloved Yuki died, and even now I'm still trying to pick the pieces of my heart up off the floor and mend them as much as possible, but seeing who I believe was Hiro just shattered my heart even further. I don't know what's going on with me right now, but I want it to stop - my heart can't take much more of this pain. I am still very slowly accepting the fact that the two most important people in my life are dead, and I just wish I could be reassured they are resting in peace.

My career has gone, for the most part, rapidly down the slippery slope of no return. Concerts were cancelled, album release dates were postponed, and the lead singer of the once-great band Bad Luck no longer gave a damn. I still didn't care because I was in no way eager to spend my time in a band with just Fujisaki. I was asked to return home, but I just wasn't ready to deal with my family yet. I just wanted to be alone, and I had enough money saved up from past performances to cover the rent for a few more months. Why do people expect me to bounce right back from this experience? They have no fucking idea how traumatized I was after seeing Hiro alive and walking when I was under the assumption that he had died six years ago, and it was likely trauma I will never shake off.

For memory's sake, or for some other crazy reason, I decided to stop by Eiri's old apartment. The building had long since been abandoned and was dilapidated, but I still made my way to the site to look around. On my way to the building, my mind wandered to all the fond memories I held about Yuki. I remember caring for him when he had a fever and not allowing him to get out of bed. I remember celebrating his birthday when we rubbed cake in one another's face. I remember all the nights I snuggled up in his lap and he gently stroked my hair. These wonderful memories brought a tear to my eye - a happy tear. I cracked a smile as I continued to reminisce about all the romantic and silly times he and I had during his six-year lease on life post-surgery. I finally reached the old run-down apartment building, and that's when I noticed something bizarre. I knew Yuki's old room was located in the front side of the building - I knew exactly which window was his. As I stared up at that window, I could have sworn I saw someone standing in the apartment. Someone tall, but someone whose face was obstructed by the darkened glass. Who the hell was that? What were they doing in a run-down apartment complex? Why were they in Yuki's apartment? I decided I had to get myself into that room. I bolted through the doors to the lobby, which had not been locked...even though they were such a few days ago when I walked past. Once inside, I noticed none of the stairwell doors were locked either, which was a shock. I ran like a bat out of hell up seven flights of stairs until I got to Yuki's apartment, which I was both appalled and happy to discover was also open.

I slowly pushed the door open and peeked inside - the apartment was surprisingly clean for having been abandoned for so long. I looked around - the room was illuminated by the light of day piercing through the windows. I slowly made my way through the apartment, cautiously glancing into each room, fearful that I may find something I do not want to see. The kitchen was empty, as was the bedroom and the living room. I realized there was one more room to check...Yuki's study. As I stood outside the door, I could swear I heard someone tapping busily on a keyboard. I shakily extended my hand to the doorknob and grasped it in my fingers. I gave it a small twist, hoping almost that it was locked so I wouldn't need to suffice my curiousities...but it clicked and the door opened. I pushed the door slowly and looked inside, feeling a fright deep in my soul that was unimaginable. I could hardly bear to even open my eyes to look, but I squinted one eye and took a brief glance into the room...

There was nothing there. There was no one in the room.

I pushed the door all the way open and looked around - nothing was in the room but a shelf. I looked from side to side, only to have acquired that which I entered with: nothing. I sighed with relief, knowing I had worked myself up over absolutely nothing. I wiped the thin veneer of perspiration from my brow with my sleeve as I turned to leave the room. I wasn't watching where I was going on my way out, and I felt there was no need to do so when there was a slim chance of anyone else being in the building. But, as luck would have it ("Bad Luck" I guess. Ha ha, I crack me up), I ended up bumping face-first into someone who had decided to stand right behind me. I figured it was a city official coming to tell me to get out of the building because it was dangerous and a construction site, and I was prepared to apologize and vacate myself from the premises. If only...if only that individual I ran into had been an average person. When I looked up at who I had run into, my heart felt like it was going to explode. I stumbled back against the wall, unable to think, breathe, or even blink. Tears began streaming down my face and my heart began to palpitate. I couldn't even bring myself to sob - the tears rolled freely down my face. My entire body was shaking violently like it never had before. As I stared at the figure before me, who had not budged an inch, I could only muster the strength to mutter one word...

"...Y...Yuki?"

* * *

No, please tell me this wasn't happening to me. It couldn't be...this wasn't possible. How?! And _why_?! The figure standing before me wore what appeared to be a brand-new jacket suit. Tall and thin, but with very dirty and very matted hair, and a face covered in shadows to the point where the face could not be discerned. My breathing got loud and rapid, and I felt as though I was having a heart attack. I grasped my chest and collapsed to my knees, feeling an overwhelming sense of every possible negative emotion hitting me at once. It was like having a million daggers thrown into me and torn back out over and over again. Eventually I fell to my side, shaking, hyperventilating, and sobbing. It was the most unbearable sensation I had ever felt, and I just wanted to die right there. I was done being tortured like this and I wanted it to end. Whoever this mysterious person was, I hoped with all my heart they had come to kill me. I began having a severe nervous breakdown, muttering things to this cryptic shadow out of pure paranoia.

"Yu...ki. Please...why...Yu..."

I could hardly decipher what I was saying - I was shaking so savagely at this point that even I couldn't understand what in the hell I said. I hadn't even realized I had fallen onto a nail sticking up from the floor and it pierced my side. I began to feel cold as the air hit the wound, but I had no idea the injury was even there because I was so frightened by this whole experience. I wanted my life to be over with...right at that moment. I wanted the building to just collapse and crush me beneath the rubble and put an end to my suffering. As I shook, I felt something against my back - something warm and soft. A gentle hand was resting on my writhing body, caressing me. I don't know why, but this seemed to help calm me down. This gentle touch made me relax to some extent, although I almost couldn't believe it myself that I was relaxing after having the most profound nervous breakdown of my existence. I looked up slowly from the floor, with dust-tainted tears smeared across my face. Looking back down at me was a set of passionate, golden eyes laced with long eyelashes. I knew those eyes, and they belonged to only one man...the man I love.

"Yuki? Is...is it really you, Yuki?"

The figure knelt down beside me and stroked my hair. "I'm here now, Shu."

I managed to get myself up off my stomach and sitting somewhat upright. I stared into those golden orbs and smiled. "Oh Yuki, it is you!"

I lunged forward and embraced him in a hug, but his body felt as cold as ice. I slowly released my grip and gently caressed his face, which was perfectly warm. His hair was messy and dirty, but his face was as soft and pure as porcelain. Tears rolled down my face in rivulets as I tried to find the right words to say. All I could manage was a tearful "I love you".

Yuki held me in his arms and whispered, "I love you too."

He looked at me and wiped away my tears with tender strokes. "Yuki...are we...going to be together again now?"

Yuki looked me right in the eyes with the most tear-jerking expression I had ever seen on him. "Shuichi...I can't."

Before I could say a word, he pulled me into a most passionate kiss. His lips were still as soft and warm as they were six years ago. He still tasted the same, too, and it felt absolutely incredible to have my lover kiss me again. I didn't want to let him go - I wanted our kiss to last forever. I didn't want that moment to end, even if it was in an abandoned building.

When he pulled out of the kiss, I asked him without ever looking up, "Why, Yuki? Why can't we be together again?"

"Because...", he said. With this, he began to unbutton his dark grey shirt. I had no idea what he was doing, but I felt it wise to pay close attention. He loosened the final button and opened his shirt, and what I saw horrified me. Under the shirt was not the warm, clear flesh my Yuki once had. I saw rotted flesh that was riddled with maggots, and his rib cage was exposed through areas where flesh had obviously rotted or been eaten away. His organs were gone, including his heart. He looked like part of the cast from a horror film, except this wasn't special effects - it was real and right in front of me. His fingers lightly graced his chest region and came to rest upon his ribs, as if he needed to try and prove to me that what I was seeing was not some sick illusion.

"...I'm dead, Shuichi."

At that moment, I think I died of a broken heart.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

I sat bolt upright, panting ans sweating. My heart and lungs felt like they were about to burst. I was covered head to toe in my own perspiration. When I finally came to, and my heart rate went down a little bit, I looked around. I was in bed...Yuki's bed, more specifically. I was in his apartment, but it wasn't abandoned - it was still clean and furnished. Yuki was nowhere in sight. I crawled out of bed wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and ran out into the kitchen, nearly falling on my way. Tohma was in the kitchen, calmly sipping at a cup of coffee. He was surprised to see me screeching to a halt in the kitchen so unexpectedly.

"Good morning, Mr. Shindo. Is everything alright?"

"Where's Yuki? Is he still dead? Where is he? Where?!!", I screamed in hysterics.

Tohma had the most bewildered look on his face. "Mr. Shindo, are you feeling okay?"

"Please tell me where Yuki is! Please!", I begged with tears rolling down my face.

A voice called out from behind me, "I'm right here, you baka. What's all the screaming for?"

I turned around to see Yuki staring at me with his classic pissed-off expression. I ran at him and tackled him to the floor in the biggest bear hug I've ever given anyone. I cried in his arms and cuddled against him. "Oh Yuki, you're not dead! You're alive! You're alive!"

"What in the hell kind of drugs did you get into? What made you think I was dead?", Yuki asked while trying to push me away slightly.

"But...but you were sick and you needed a heart transplant and then you died...I don't understand what's going on, Yuki. Am I dreaming right now?"

Yuki gave me a blank look and proceeded to give me a hard pinch. I flinched and cried out, "Oww you bastard. What was that for?"

"If you felt that, you're not dreaming. And just so you kow, I never died or got sick or needed heart surgery."

"I...don't understand. Did I get hit in the head or something?"

Yuki lifted me up off the floor with him as he stood up, and he gently set me back down on my feet. "I don't have a fucking clue, but you have been asleep for almost an entire twenty-four hours."

"I have??", I asked in complete bewilderment.

"Oh yes...you stupidly overdosed on the sleeping aid meds, which made you sleep for a whole goddamn day. You were only supposed to take a teaspoon of that stuff."

"Teaspoon? That's what 't-s-p' stands for?", I asked, totally oblivious.

"Um, yeah. What did you think it stood for?"

I looked away with embarrassment, "...ten square pints?"

Yuki slapped his forehead and sighed. "You really are a moron. You're lucky you didn't get really sick from overdosing like that."

"So...all of what happened...it was a dream?"

Tohma piped up, "This explains Mr. Shindo's outburst moments ago. Overdosing on sleep aids is known to cause hallucinations, which probably occurred during the time he was asleep."

"Thanks, doctor Seguchi", Yuki replied in his usual cynical tone.

I looked from Tohma to Yuki and back and forth over and over again. "Is...is Hiro okay too?"

Tohma smiled, "Yes, Mr. Nakano is just fine. He was very worried about you not waking up, but he's perfectly fine."

"It was...it was a dream...I'm gonna faint, Yuki...", and with those famous last words, I collapsed in Yuki's not-so-willing arms.

* * *

A few hours later, I awoke to find Yuki in a chair by the bedside, quietly reading. I stirred about in the bed and looked over at him.

"Yuki..."

Without looking up, he placed a scrap of paper between the pages he had been reading and he closed his book and placed it on the night stand. He proceeded to pull the chair closer to the edge of the bed so he could hold my hand, which felt absolutely heavenly.

"How are you feeling? You took a big fall back there...and I kind of didn't catch you."

"Is that why my butt hurts?"

"No...your butt hurts for another reason", he said with a wink. I blinked at him curiously and he bent forward and kissed me lightly on the forehead. "I was kidding, you baka."

"I can't believe all that was a dream...it felt so real. It was so depressing...Hiro died, you died, then you both came back from the dead. It was horrifying. But...I'm glad it was only a dream. I just couldn't imagine losing you like that. I know you don't like me very much, but you mean so much to me and I can still feel the pain in my heart from that awful nightmare an-"

Yuki silenced me by pulling my face close and kissing me. "You may be a baka and have no talent, but you're still my lover."

I couldn't help smiling at him. Okay sure, his remark wasn't sweet by typical standards, but to me it was.

"To be honest...I was scared when you didn't wake up yesterday. I called every hospital in the city and asked what to do, and they all told me you would be fine. But...I still got scared. I know I was mean to you this morning, but deep down, I was happy to see you walking around and, well...alive."

"I'm sorry I scared you, Yuki. Can you forgive me?"

He grinned evilly at me and slithered onto the bed in such a sexy manner. "Take off your pants and I'll see what I can do."

Oh, Yuki...what would I do without you?

* * *

**_THE END_**

* * *

Thank you all very much for reading, and thank you for your wonderful comments. I hope you have enjoyed the story, as I have enjoyed writing it over the past year. I feel I can't wrap up this tale any more than I have in this chapter, so I shall venture to say this is the real end to the story. 


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